Tristan Fitzgerald

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

I just need more celebs in my super bowl commercials

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

TouchTunes is proof democracy doesn’t work.

[Dr. Anita B. Etin, PhD 💕 @DrAnitaBEtin]

“Obese” is the N word for plus-sized people.

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

Westbrook on the Lakers might be the best thing to happen in my life.

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

@_maddiebelle_ @lindseynickhole Try living with it. I wait til 10 am like a normal person and I'm still “insane”

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

I think to get on a Spotify curated playlist you have to check 3 boxes:
1. Industry parents
2. Generic lo fi indie sound
3. All lowercase name

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

@Dustin_Chapman_ Dustin “Get the politics out of Christmas” Chapman.

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

@Dustin_Chapman_ Overplayed, but that’s because its a top 10 Christmas song all time. Bad take. First slip up.

[Charlie @StyledApe]

This means so much to guys that insist on wearing shorts in the winter. He’s our Black Panther

[Sean Harry @SHReedlater]

“I woke up this morning and knew @SwellyC92 would drink over 10 drafts at Brew Has. There was just something in the air”

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

Phil Simms getting demoted to the studio gig is like seeing your teacher bagging groceries.

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

I hope scientists study Sean Evans’ asshole when he dies.

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if a video surfaced of Jaimie Foxx flying unassisted through the air.

[Complex @Complex]

Jamie Foxx can really impersonate anyone. 😭😂

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

Couldn't possibly imagine a motive, huh?

[The Associated Press @AP]

Police identified the man who attacked author Salman Rushdie as Hadi Matar. He was arrested at the scene and was awaiting arraignment.

State police Major Eugene J. Staniszewski said the motive for the stabbing was unclear.

https://t.co/zpbIbfBzWp

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

Love is waking up on the floor on a Sunday morning with a lukewarm gatorade next to your head.

[Adam Fullerton @TheFullerTron]

Ted Cruz auditioning to open for @timheidecker in Dallas tonight

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

Started the mediterranean diet this week. I’ve had 4 bottles of wine, a Panera baguette, gelato, and I just got done making fried chicken so I’m just a failure in general.

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

I can only recall two times that I’ve been super proud of what America accomplished in my life time.

1. Electing Barrack Obama
2. Federally legalizing gay marriage.

One of those still seems to be on the table. Add another disgraceful day in this country to the list.

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

@samanth_uhhhhhh Kendall Roy multiverse Iron Man

[Tristan Fitzgerald @TrissyBearLive]

This is footage of me on my annual Jager and Red Bull night.

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

USC just signed this OL. 6'5" 320 lbs doing this 🤯

(via @USC_Athletics, @cooperlovelace1)