Zuko

They call me Whole Foods cause I Produce

[blanco @beerdefeater]

Im hammered watching the Santa tracker telling my niece that when Santa enters the US airspace our military is gonna shoot him down with cruise missiles

[Tom Brady @TomBrady]

This was my actual field of vision when I hucked that thing.

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

@385pq5o9qyzx772 I need a major role in this one

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

My time to shine

[ESPN @espn]

Breaking: Trevor Story and the Red Sox have agreed to a six-year, $140 million contract, according to multiple reports. USA Today was first to report the news.

More: https://t.co/SRM7cjDljK

[charles (“you look good” - andy reid) mcdonald @FourVerts]

tom brady tasting a strawberry for the first time

[Tucker Boynton @Tucker_TnL]

Tom Brady ranks, all-time

Pass yards: 1st
Pass TDs: 1st
Wins: 1st
Win%: 1st
Total EPA: 1st
Total WPA: 1st
Pro Bowls: 1st
SB apps: 1st
SB wins: 1st
SB MVPs: 1st
Conf Champ apps: 1st
Playoff yards: 1st
Playoff TDs: 1st
Playoff EPA: 1st
Playoff wins: 1st

What more is there to say?

[Brett Haney @haney918]

Back in my day the coach just took a good look and your melon and said, “yep, you look like a medium”

[Stephen Schoch @bigdonkey47]

Shut up nerd

[Tidal @TIDAL]

Take the $500K.

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

@jack01234567891 Annabelle part 4

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

@jack01234567891 The pit??

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

Alright that’s it we’re in a simulation

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

A British person is invading my Fourth of July barbecue best believe it’s Toby Keith and Celine dion’s rendition of God Bless America on repeat

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

@jack01234567891 Here before it blows up

[Vexxy D. Flexxy @FuckYaDeadGuys]

Do beavers be knowin what they doin or do they jus see water comin n think “I gotta put a stop to dis”

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

Dawn soap puts ducks in oil to film commercials of ducks being taken out of oil

[Three-Eyed Raisin @GulagJamun_]

Imagine being the 13 year old kid that sniped Meyers Leonard in Warzone and ended his NBA career

[Zuko @TrueStoryy520]

Jeopardy host asks a question:
Karah: Antelope!
Answer: Gold