J. Serenity

A legal legend in my own mind. Celebrity student. Follow me and my trusted paralegal, Rexy, for legal and fashion (mis)information and tips!

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. We can't come to the phone right now, we're busy trying to get young adults to vote for us using the promise of a "blowjob". 🤦

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

@Cdnwatcher @LangleyResident @LawSocietyofBC @LangleyRCMP @facepalmchris I'm also available for poker tournaments, snarky movie reviews and my new service, "Rent-A-BFF" where for the low low price of $9.99 an hour, I'll tell you how bad you look in those jeans, that your partner is probs cheating and beg you to cut your hair. (or wash it)

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. We can't come to the phone right now, we're busy pretending to be a professor at SFU.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. We can't come to the phone right now, we're busy making a list of names of all the super mean transphobic poopie heads who don't blow sunshine up our butts. This could take a while. Leave a message.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

@neil_dorin @Indieanabones That's the best!

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. We can't come to the phone right now, we're trying to figure out how we can possibly manage to get multiple master degrees from SFU while struggling to buy a teeshirt. If ONLY it was right in front of us!

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. We can't come to the phone, we're busy warning parents all over North America to lock their children away from people like this.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

@Cdnwatcher @bcedplan Poor Mommy. Apparently, her back can't handle our weight or something. Starting to think Mommy might be a transphobe.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. We can't come to the phone right now, we're being forced to read pamphlets on who menstruates and who doesn't.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

@Cdnwatcher @bcedplan We use Poo-Pourri, Dollar General Body Spray, and industrial strength foot powder! You don't actually expect us to get into the TUB do you?! Those meanies at fire and rescue won't come here to help us out anymore. We can not be expected to do it ourselves.
😏

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law, can I interest you in a tour of a one bedroom, 1 bath pigloo...I mean condo? Some slight damage but nothing a bit of elbow grease and several gallons of Dettol can't fix!

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

‼️‼️WARNING‼️‼️
There is a shot of a nude chest area in the above video. Proceed with caution.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law, how can we gross you the absolute fuck out today?

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. We can't take your call right now, we're too busy with our SUPER important Social Media Influencer client & his BUBBLY owner. The number of followers they have is over(*under)whelming! 16 in just a weekend! Practically viral!

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

Act now and we can arrange for you to meet a "service dog" that absolutely would never EVER (*frequently) lunge at passersby and children.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. If you're interested in learning how to be a Social Media Influencer, please press 2 and someone will arrange for you to speak with a totally not dangerous, absolutely not racist, completely real (*not a CPR dummy) Influencer!

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. We can't come to the phone right now, as we are in so much distress from this #SuperSerious lawsuit and #TotallyNotFake injuries.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law, if this is 1998, I don't care if you want your ASCII art back, it's mine now & if you try to take it away, I will sue you. Unless you want to be my girlfriend & wear this fake diamond ring I bought 3 fiancées ago! 💍 No bites in the chat.

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

📞Thank you for calling Trusted Nerd Law. If you're calling about suing a college or university for not letting you bring your untrained, badly behaved Service Dog Identified pet on campus, please leave a message. Excuse me, I need to go check on my car. BEEEEEP!

[J. Serenity @TrustedNerdLaw]

@chloecole I was just going to comment that they took my follow away! WTF?! @Twitter! Uncool!