Baz Turd

Don't piss in my pocket and tell me it's raining.
Chef. No longer working. Still a Chef.
Is continuing to learn writing. Real writing; joined up letters

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

British Asparagus the World's Greatest.
You can jar off with your phat phallic purple/white spears.
Gimme lean, green, tightbud #sparrowgrass from the @valeofevesham any season of the year
The world's best is only in peak native crop for about 6 weeks, starting now ish
#Foodies

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

The weather month doesn't know what it wants to be, day in and out. Been weeks like this lately now.
Vexatious
Trying to pin down the weather wheel with seasonal produce tips me headlong into asparagus season.
My first taste of spears this year was naughty
#asparagus
#Foodies

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@guerillacricket
#timing
Fee-Fi-Fuckery.
Balls.

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@guerillacricket
Block. Block. Block.
Brett Lee Buzz.
Fuck-it. Ain't proud.
1-0 down and move on.
Will win Headingly, weather allowing.
Some belief here boys. Not hope.
Belief.
#StrangerThings

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@guerillacricket
Hendo slightly boiling my swede: yes versus O-lick Robber - sweets and babies.
BUT... Jonny's toss arguably more damaging.
And stop with the laments and ageism re Jimmy: I'm 50-fuckin-3, worked in the Long Room 1989-1991 and I would be taking this on still.

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@guerillacricket
McCurty/Carthy - Dead Cricketers Society.
Another poach from my Irish.
Right!
Without divine intervention the draw aint on.
But with divine Ben-tervention Eng are ploughing over the line.
Woulda taken the draw before the off. 2-0 down no good. 1-1 it is then.

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

#
@guerillacricket ... it may be the hope that kills, but it's regret that buries you.
On it Chef. C'MON.
#Ashes23
@benstokes38

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@guerillacricket
My boys, my boys. Been a while - my bad; things with skin needed Lectoring.
Done an then some.
Bandwagon tip today (5)
Capt's knock req now. Pissed at Jonny - Gotard.
But game still table and there to be won, can/shall do this.
It is written.
#UrnIt
#Ashes23

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

Fo' Shame.
And shamless gain.
Thank you Tony Bannana who fact-shamed this pearl on FacetyBook
#slavery
#racism
#WASP
#SameAsItEverWas
#Roots
#Reparations
#PlantationPoison
@GOP
@southcarolina

https://t.co/6qYdJGLLOB

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@TheGumFairy I've missed your entire life up to this point collapse.
11
49
And other marks sure
Measures
It's a sick bastard routine ride
Bumps
You look to me,
vital
Beyond
and belonging
Here
Not just now. Not just for now.
For all timesxways
I dont make the rules;
But I do point them oyt

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

More & more I've come to think of the #longdarknightofthesoul as purely #chi keeping my human spirit from being touched by the death of consciousness; separate and so then safe.
#WritingCommunity
#ConsciousPlanet
#BeingHuman

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@DPhotographer I had and loved a D810 briefly, about 3 years ago then sold it for 1K body only.
Bought a D750 which I still have, along with a late series 8062**** F2.
I gotta sell one and can't decide.
The F2 has been on @SoverWong CLA+ waiting list for 18 mths.
Beautiful machine.
#Nikon

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

How are you this still morning ?
This light pillowy soft, as crushed velvet.
Seemingly embarrassed by it's shadow-casts it so then "shoes" them away, arms outstretched.
Enveloping equally form and function, dulling every blade.
Casting misty folds lain.
#DAWN
#WritingCommunity

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@AlexPriceWriter Nice one dada. Go to be where you're wanted, needed, and cherished.
Don your robes, then cast them off again when you get down & dirty.
Treasure these times & try to be fully present in all moments passing, so as to remember clearly, when the time comes for you to look back upon

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@RoxyWright0 I am my own support animal; a dog...
Means I get to lick my balls and hump my own leg.

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

Understand.
Understand...
Why isn't the opposite of Understand, Oversit ?
Or Overlie ?
I don't get it...
Do I then Oversit Understanding ?
#WritingCommunity
#etymology
#semantics
#lexicon
#understand
#Oversit

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

It was the pop of the body cavity giving way that got me.
On the 2nd hit
bus had winged & dinged it bad; not gonna get up,
on, or off the ground again.
1 wing aimed skyward still, fencing forlorn flaps, tenacious of life to the end.
Claws popped and innards
#WritingCommunity

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

Lament for a late pigeon.

Out shopping for some bits
sat at a bus-stop
not awaiting a ride, just waiting...
bus pulls up, then away
a 74/5 or 6
A chance snacking pigeon, late departing
ends it's days
hard pressed by rubber
and air brakes
hydraulic
err compounded by each pass

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

Lament for a late pigeon.

Out shopping for some bits
sat at a bus-stop
not awaiting a ride, just waiting...
bus pulls up, then away
a 74/5 or 6
A chance snacking pigeon, late departing
ends it's days
hard pressed by rubber
and air brakes
hydraulic
err compounded by each pass

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

Thinning the herd eh ?
Bastards.

[#TuckFrump @realTuckFrumper]

America Is Witnessing Fastest Aging of Any Decade in 130 Years https://t.co/9dIgFSMT1A

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@realTuckFrumper Hence The Cull that was Covid. Can't have those figures not adding up.
"Who's gonna pay for all this...?"
Exactly.
Don't piss in my pocket and tell me it's raining.
#covidlies
#pandemicbullshit
#vaxdeath
#fuckthisshit

[Baz Turd @TurdBaz]

@pure_writing Gorgeous

[Off The Ball @offtheball]

🗣 'He's not in the Chelsea team, who are not in the Top 10 in the league at the moment'

⚽ With reported interest from #MUFC, #OTBAM asks Mason Mount is worth the apparent £60m price tag... | 🤯

🔵 #CFC

@GilletteUK | #EffortlessFlow