Party Wendy

During the week I teach ENG/LIT. On the weekend, I GET LIT. Dance like no one's watching you because they're not; they're watching me. 💁 #Classy #Sassy #WokeAF

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

@billsquire @alancoxshow As a woke middle-aged gal, I don't see anything wrong with the way those newscasters are talking.

P.S. @mary_santora You're looking v.p. today! 💁

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

I just want to give a "shout out" to my wonderful daughter for once again taking the day off to spend time with Dave and me, and to her coworkers and bosses for being so understanding, when pretty much any other job would have fired her by now. 💁‍♀️

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

When my daughters were young, Erika used to tease her sister by repeatedly putting bacon in her mouth and taking it out again.

Years later, Nikki got revenge in a similar fashion, only instead of bacon, it was a certain part of her sister's ex-boyfriend's anatomy.

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

Don't tell my daughter that I have time to tweet, but not time to call her. 💁‍♀️

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

Officially, I can't condone this. Unofficially, I think he should win Teacher of the Year. 💁‍♀️

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

I will straight up clothesline a third-grader if they get between me and petting a baby wolf, IDGAF. 💁

[Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand]

How can a President under criminal investigation be allowed to appoint a Supreme Court justice that will affect our lives for decades to come?

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

I'm always down for a good time at a family wedding, even if involves my handicapable daughter getting groped by my socially awkward nephew. 💁

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

Fiesta Wendy siempre ordena su comida mexicana con español perfecto.

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

Today marks 37 years of being happy I got married and 11,220 days of regretting I had children. 💁

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

Oh, please! My daughter doesn't realize that I was familiar with all kinds of caulk before she was even born. 💁

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

@MilesHlivko They wouldn't if I was in charge! 💁

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

PARTY FOUL: Nothing dampens the mood at a high school prom like the untimely paralyzation of one or more students. Be careful out there! 💁

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

This is sound advice! 💁 https://t.co/3JaRGKVbN7

[Erika's Financial Advisor @ErikasAdvisor]

Tired of getting Christmas gifts from your parents, @erikalaurenluvs? I wondered why they weren't going along with your request, but then you said you bought @TurntMrsWas an @amazonecho. To keep it fair, don't buy them anything either.

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

I'm flattered that my daughter enjoyed her numerous Christmas gifts so much that she needed an extra two days to fully enjoy them all. 🎄🎁💁

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

It's nice to know that SOME DAUGHTERS know how to repay their mothers after achieving success in media. https://t.co/uatkbOEVKp

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

My two favorite things about @Jokoy are that he's absolutely hilarious and also he's never borrowed money from me. 💁

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

21 embarrassing screen names no one can use again because AIM is dead
https://t.co/hLJcBFhsuE

[Party Wendy @TurntMrsWas]

I was "TheMagentaLove48" before AIM was cool. 💁