I used to be this dude that bottles up anger in me. You might do something that pisses me off and I'll keep tabs with you without you knowing I'm still pissed. I eventually find some truce in myself and forgive, but I didn't know I was piling up grudges. The one day I actually got pissed and decided to vent, I almost killed someone. It was the next day when I began to reflect that it dawned on me what the aftermath of my actions could have been. That was the moment when my drive towards disputes changed. No matter what happens, my first disposition is to de escalate and use the magic words. I have lived in peace ever since