Eric Cartman

I came to Twitter to meet older and more matured people because everyone my age is like, down nyah, and I'm up nyah. Maybe a little more up nyah.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

Better if Butters is in Hawaii than South Park. Fuck that guy. #SouthPark

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

Triple wow. Eat it. #SouthPark

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

Only Butters can make being a badass look gay. #SouthPark

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

#ImAttractedTo 10/10 Victoria's Secret models. Nothing less.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

New South Park RIGHT NOW, you crazy crackers. Turn that shit on. #SouthPark

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

#ThingsthatILove KFC, killing hippies, making fun of Jewish people (mainly Kyle and his family), and... money. I fucking love money.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

I just fucked your head and the UPS guy just fucked my mom! #SouthPark

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

Weekends are the best because I can sleep in, eat as much as I want, and call Kyle a Jew on Facebook, all in the comfort of my bed.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

#MentionSomeoneVerySpecial Colonel Sanders

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

#ImThePersonWho Gets all the bitches and has all the cash. Everyone at school is super jealous.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

I run on the platform of KFC and making being a hippie illegal.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

Republicans and Democrats both suck balls. VOTE CARTMAN! #CARTMAN2012

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

@KevinStoley Sadly.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

1 follower away from 3,000?! HOLY SHIT! The 3,000th better not be some fucking hippie.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

I could go for some KFC right now... and all other times.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

#WaysToPissBlackPeopleOff Close down KFC! #WaysToPissCartmanOff

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

Good thing I hate black people and didn't go see the Dark Knight.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

#ThingsIWontForget That one time that I had my father killed and cooked into Chili. That was a weird week.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

Summer is awesome for sleeping. And eating. And TV. Summer kicks ass.

[Eric Cartman @TweetCartman]

#FirstDayOfSchoolThoughts IT'S FUCKING JULY. I don't wanna see this shit.