Pete Cashmore

Writer, hater of bad adverts at and @badvertising5 when I can be arsed.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

I mean, I scored more than that in the old format.

[Garbage Human 🗑 @GarbageHuman_GH]

Hi @Cosmopolitan, please delete your account and rethink your life choices.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Stockpile weapons, write 100,000-word manifestos

https://t.co/TCaRafJkQR

[z @zk43jt]

WAT THE FUCK DO SINGLE PEOPLE DO

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Q: In a household, a kettle is commonly used to boil which liquid?

As ever, #tippingpoint treats its contestants with the maximum respect for their intellectual capabilities.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

This lot on #tenable are as dim as a sack of rocks.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Argos in Wolverhampton is completely sold out of fans costing £35 or less. I blame Brexit.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Not for the women

https://t.co/7mmrncXFGi

[Jordan Belfort @wolfofwallst]

It was even better in person https://t.co/zIMNCrTA83

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

I have to babysit two dogs all morning. Hyperactive ones. I hate hyperactive dogs, I only like fat ones who just sit there expecting you to chub them up.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

@Colak Felt pleasingly 1970s. It's the kind of film that would have been one of those ones that was on the Video Nasties list but didn't really deserve to be there.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Shout-outs to the hundreds of people who think they are the only person to make the, "Yeah Gary Lineker, let's reply England vs Croatia, we didn't get the result we wanted there either" joke.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

You don't think teenage boys' opinions on hair are valid? Sickening prejudice. We must include them in the discussion.

https://t.co/2g1ckXd8s9

[Jacqui Smith @Jacqui_Smith1]

Thank goodness for that. I was really short of advice on my hair from teenage boys! https://t.co/B3T2HA5tKv

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Completed level 3,590 of Candy Crush Saga which means that I have reached the end of all available levels for the second time. What a time to be alive, readers.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Stoke down to 10 men against Wolves #wwfc

https://t.co/uOI19IJhaJ

[Tim Spiers @TimSpiers]

Berahino on for Stoke

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Try to raise an extra £20 and get that fucking hair sorted out.

https://t.co/yWOyDTrlin

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

@tim_spiers_Star Jesus Tim

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

@DelSoulcondor I forgot how crazy that OC / Extra P one was.

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

@DelSoulcondor UMCs were good until I realised they were just doing Time To Set It Straight... Weren't Smif n Wessun on one of them?

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

I'm sweating so hard now that I just pissed the bed and somehow it got drier. #heatwaveuk

[Pete Cashmore @TweetCashmore]

Now that I have no job, no chance of a job, no home and no money, I might join Elitesingles out of spite.