How Joe Saved Murica

This page is dedicated to the story of how Joe saved the United States from Towel Heads. But still, fuck Steve

[Al Dion @Al_Dion73]

Chipotle: Guacamole is extra
Joe: no it's not
Chipotle: yes it is

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

G.I. Joe has been training for this since day one. It's now time... for him to save 'Murica.

END OF PART ONE

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

"That's right, it was me. OSonia Bin Laden." she said. "You're about to find out some things about America you may not want to hear."

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

He approaches the Twinkie factory, and is shocked to see Sonia wearing a turban. "It was you all along" he says.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

"Now where he could those towelheads be holding Sonia?" he thinks to himself. He doesn't know. Perhaps a Twinkie break will jog his memory.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

Joe sets off on his mission to defeat the towelheads. He grabs a pack of twinkies, eye black, and a scented candle. He's ready to go.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

"My brain says Meg, but my heart says Sonia" Joe thinks to himself. "And if there's one thing I know, it's to always follow the heart."

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

"The towelheads have captured both Meg and Sonia, and they demand you choose between the two."
Joe freezes. He knew it would come to this.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

"What's the problem, nigga?" Joe says. "Towelheads" said the President. "Worst case I've ever seen." Joe clenched his fists in fury.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

Suddenly, he heard the phone ring. It was none other than the President of the United States. "G.I. Joe, we need your help!" Obama says.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

The day Joe saved America started like any other for our hero. After waking up from a towelhead nightmare, he enjoyed a Twinkie breakfast.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

Joe notices the first snowfall of the season. "They say no two snowflakes are alike, but I can't find one girl that's different" he mutters.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

*opens twitter*

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

Joe feels bad for Kim Jong Un. "I know what it's like to be misunderstood" he thinks, while throwing darts at this twitter account.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

After months of staying off twitter, #JustJoeThings can stay away no longer. Just like with Sonia, he knew someday he'd return.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

Joe,taking a stroll with his teammates, sees a sign that reads "Piano Lessons". He's interested, but won't show weakness. Joe kicks the sign

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

Joe is worried to take his permit test. After his birthday being two months ago, he doesn't think he can handle that type of rejection.

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

My empty heart is why I lose

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

If you ever doubt our accuracy of Mr. Flaherty

[How Joe Saved Murica @TweetLikeJoe]

The Beatles are so underrated