Tweet Like Vodka

In Vodka We Trust. | Parody | Not affiliated with any company or brand.

[Tweet Like Vodka @TweetLikeVodka]

Everyone's over here like, "Hey, I'm getting married or having babies" and I'm like "Who wants to day drink with me?"

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all i want is someone to look at me the way this monk looks at beer

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when ur girlfriend comes home drunk but ur completely sober

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I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person.

And that person drinks A LOT.

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me: I don't drink soda that's unhealthy

also me:

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when someone is trying to have a serious conversation but you're drunk af

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everytime

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"What do you do for fun"

Me:

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when u drink 15 beers & wake up without a hangover

[Tweet Like Vodka @TweetLikeVodka]

when u can hear ur friends yelling "chug chug chug' & u question if they're here to party with u or commit homicide

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Me: I'll come to the party, just chill, and have 1 drink

*2 minutes and 12 seconds later*

Me:

[Tweet Like Vodka @TweetLikeVodka]

when you wake up wondering why you had to have 37 beers and 22 shots

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my solution when a friend has a problem

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Step aside common sense, this is a job for alcohol.

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Me as a parent https://t.co/3yHMZUt6aH

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"I only had two shots" https://t.co/6BcrSHsR2P

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When your friend wants to leave the party but you're still drunk af https://t.co/ZPoKcVZ7VZ