You ever notice how certain days Facebook is like it’s 12 different people’s birthday today and other days it’s like it’s only 2 people’s birthday. Spread em out Facebook!
Cavities as the next astrology?
When did you get your first cavity? Oh August 9th? that means you’re a jerk. January 20th? that also means you’re a jerk. They all mean jerk.
Everyone has talent. And I say this obvious lie to really say that if you lived for 300 years let’s say, some weird thing would eventually get invented that you were accidentally really good at. Has somebody already covered all of this?
my friend’s dad who has never felt joy or laughed at anything in his life, convulsed with laughter when I pronounced the name of an inconsequential Long Island town slightly incorrectly.
I was in a shitty cover band and we were playing in a bar and this guy walked in wearing an adidas shirt and we finished playing a song and I said thanks everyone we’re adidas and then called the guy a loser for wearing the shirt of the band you’re going to see.