tweeting for one

[Shasti @sh44sti]

dr congo…senegal….bosnia…three beautiful african nations eliminated last night

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

The smartphone really revolutionized the waiting room. Oh I get 20 minutes to look at my phone? Don’t mind if I do. The only problem is sometimes when I’m looking at my phone at home my home starts to feel like a waiting room and I realize it is and I’m just waiting to die

[AUTOMATON WEST @AUTOMATON_ENG]

Academic researchers of ChatGPT user habits stumble upon “extreme outlier” who generated thousands of fanfics about Doki Doki Literature Club! characters giving birth
https://t.co/MiFsrBEtbg

[RC @ryancconnell]

The Lake Oswego Police Department

[ollie @ledytoss]

guy in community college wrote an essay intro so bad that I’ve kept it in my notes app for the past 3.5 years

[Brooke from Let’s Not Date @TheLetsNotDate]

Every family celebrates Father’s Day differently. I celebrate by convincing men the woman that they just sent unsolicited penile photography to is their daughter.

[Watermelon_Sir @Watermelon1Sir]

Made Spore in Spore

[yedoye @yedoye_]

woke up today thinking about how plankton has to watch porn on his wife

[Ash @newashcamp]

English is funny— we “park” in the “driveway” but “jack off” in the “company bathrooms”

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

A pest control company has released a free dating sim where you romance anime bug boys, voiced by Attack on Titan's Eren Yeager

Every relationship ends with you using bug spray to kill your insect boyfriend

[decide @d33cide]

kind of shit jake would pull

[naturgeschichtliche @la_leere]

guy at the bus stop said "trans rights" to me so i smiled and nodded and clearly this was not satisfactory so he said "I said trans rights" and raised his fist in some kinda power salute. I was caught off guard and bowed chinese-style. Im not sure why i did that

[dennis @basedondennis]

i have a serious case of untreated car autism and im not joking look At all the times i’ve doxxed all my oomfs cars

[critter @BecomingCritter]

you build it in the order that it was actually erected during its 140+ years of construction. ngl that's dope af

[Bigwave 2.0 @BigWave372]

My hamster escaped from prison again.
Had to use the boiled egg tongs to bring the little fugitive back into custody

[cory @coolmathgame_]

horror movie lovers be like i love that movie it made me feel fucking awful and horrible and really scared

[tweeting for one @TweetingForOne]

@Swumbe_ @mounttargon What post?

[jeremy @jeremylovesyall]

no one could have foreseen that the butlerian jihad will be catholic