Tweeting Hobo

The everyday musings of a hobo with an iPhone.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Anybody know a bar with one of those No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem policy???

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

If the "Super Bowl" was something I could order at the soup kitchen, I might actually give a crap.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

I always take today as a reminder not to judge people by the color of the dirt on their skin, but by the content of their knapsack. #mlkday

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

I smell so bad today my deodorant needs deodorant. #oldspices

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Just screamed a bunch of nonsense words at a random passerby. So much for New Year's resolutions. #nowillpower

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

McDonalds may stop serving breakfast at 10:30, but they're garbage bags are open all day :-)

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

If you don't want me to play with myself as you walk by, maybe you shouldn't be wearing yoga pants in public.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

For those asking, I will be going as Tom Hanks from Cast Away for the 13 Halloween in a row. #afterthecrash

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Whoever threw eggs at me last night, the joke is on YOU! I had a wonderful omelet right after showering.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Just got released from the drunk tank. Not as much fun as the name might suggest.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Finally!!! http://t.co/cJlAdJn31P

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

A truckload of Tim Tebow jerseys was delivered to the shelter this morning. I'm homeless, not shameless.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

If you took the Classified section of my newspaper, please return it. I was FREEZING last night.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Just a quick spritz of Febreeze and I'm off to my date!

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Top 5 PC Names for Hobos:
1. Urban Outdoorsman
2. Extreme Recycler
3. Junk Rescuer
4. Rummage Inclined
5. Aromatically Challenged American

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Just saw a fellow hobo find a half eaten cheeseburger and eat everything except the wrapper. What a food snob.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Had a wonderful dream last night that I was swimming in a pool full of spaghetti. Turns out it was just Lo Mein :-(

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

If I had a dollar for every time I asked for a dollar, I'd actually have some dollars.

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Hey guy driving the green Camry! WATCH WHERE YOU THROW YOUR VANILLA SHAKES!!! I look like the end of a Peter North clip. #hopingforrain

[Tweeting Hobo @TweetingHobo]

Don't ya hate it when your shopping cart hits a curb and your cans go EVERYWHERE!!!!! #tuesday