Tweeting Talker

Random facts, sometimes fiction.
Lazy puns. Bare minimum logic.

[Sen. Methu Muhia @methumuhia]

Thank you Olkalou.

[Tweeting Talker @TweetingTalker]

😂

[Brian Mutiga @brian_mutiga]

@Fondo01 @Elvis_Localman Ni 3500/- ndugu.

[Tweeting Talker @TweetingTalker]

Kenya. Why? It was a CHAN competition meaning only players from domestic leagues participated. All the top cream Moroccan players play outside the country. So Kenya defeated Team C or D, definitely not team A.

[Blaize ™ @Furious_red_]

Morocco are now 33 matches unbeaten in all competitions, guess the last country they lost to?😭😭😭

[Piga Firimbi @pigafirimbi]

Dennis Itumbi, Head of Presidential Special Projects in Kenya's State House, shared a photo on X claiming to show world leaders at the 2026 G7 Summit. It contains at least four verifiable red flags.

A fact-check🧵

[Aleckie Ronald @SirAlexas]

Kenya has never lost a match in WC ☺️

[Ciru Muriuki 🇰🇪🪬 @CiruMuriuki]

And we have the same number of World Cups 🤭

[UEFA @UEFA]

🏆 Referee announced for 2026 #SuperCup!

We're pleased to share that Somali referee Omar Artan will officiate the highly anticipated match between PSG and Aston Villa in Salzburg.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Tomorrow we are supporting Mexico 🇲🇽 so that South Africa 🇿🇦 can go back home early to protect their jobs.

[nana aba @thenanaaba]

Dear Mexico….

As discussed.

Signed,
53 African counties

[Wamutahi @Son_of_Laikipia]

Qatar has held a World Cup where everyone who could afford to attend attended, wait till it's the USA hosting and they will have visa restrictions even on the players themselves 😂.

[Rasna Warah @RasnaWarah]

@WilliamsRuto I was diagnosed with cancer soon after you were declared president. I have always wondered whether there is a link. Before I die, I want to know, how much money and land do you need, and how much suffering do you want to inflict on Kenyans before you die?

[rene.pdf (draft) @odanga_r]

This is one of my favourite pieces of trivia about Victorian Brits and 19C Europeans. They were hallucinating hypochondriacs who feared that the sun's rays in Africa and Asia could pierce their skulls and skin, and destroy their nervous systems making them behave badly.

[Tweeting Talker @TweetingTalker]

@TeyaKevin Kamau is an indigenous name among Papuans, even Hawaiians. Might have a Kamauu variation too

[Lennox Omondi @_lennoxomondi]

Niliquit 9-5 ilikuwa inanilipa 150k/month.
Imenitake two years for my company kunilipa 67k/month na nafanya kazi from 7AM to 11PM every day, na sometimes unapata uko na employees wanakupea the hardest time ever, na kuwafuta kazi ni even more expensive.

Every month uko na bills za kulipa in the millions, end month kila mtu ako happy isipokuwa wewe juu uko na another 30 days kuraise another million. Na imagine all this trouble ndiyo net salary yako ikuwe 50k

Sometimes doh haitoshi unasema wacha ulipe the employees alafu KRA utawatumia yao by 9th, unajaribu kupata loan bank inakataa juu hauna shamba ya security, inafika 15th unapata weird calls, unashika unapata ni KRA, unawaambia utawalipa next Friday, wanakuambia Friday haiwezekani, labda Thursday. Inabidi uongee with one of your clients akulipe mapema, anakusomea akikuambia biz haifanywi hivo but anaitikia eventually.
Next week inafika unalipa KRA, SHA,NSSF, Housing Levy. Unahave some peace kidogo only to realize that next week ni end month na this time uko na deficit kubwa kushinda last month, and the cycle continues.

Kama uko 9-5 na uko sawa, I can’t advise you to quit. Heri ujaribu entrepreneurship in parallel but usiquit job yako. It feels good when you tell people that you quit your job to pursue your dream but you also need to understand that your dream will take time before it starts paying the bills, and it might also die before you eat a shilling from it.

[St.Paul's University @SPUKenya]

We dodged a bullet

[Wamutahi @Son_of_Laikipia]

Stranded astronauts thinking they successfully made it to one of the planets safely only to discover they have landed on the Gilgil-Nyahururu road.

[Alex Njenga @alexnjenga]

Good afternoon @ICEALION kindly process my claim (KDV 187J) of Ksh 7,800,000. I’m tired of the everyday lies from Magdalene Nekesa of the claims department.

[Kevin Kiarie Ruhiu @KelvinuhK]

African Champion🤴

It's Gold For Kenya Today🥇

[SirJester @JesterSirr]

There's a particular cruelty in creating problems that don't exist and then resenting people for not solving them. If you choose to wake at 5am, that's on you. Their sleep isn't disrespect. Don't use your sacrifice as a stick to beat them with. You're a grown adult. COMMUNICATE!

[Kiambu_Finest @Nganga_one]

@SomoinaKapeen @evenmaina @polo_kimanii Chief Kivoi and Prophetess Syokimau after meeting Johann Rebmann in the Mavoko area in 1882. In recognition of their cooperation, they were presented with a bicycle and a mirror.