Kris McMeans

Professional lunatic. Amateur adult. Part time chameleon... currently in New Zealand

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

I'm going to be updating my SnapChat (SnapsByKris) with the adventures of getting to New Zealand if you want to follow along.

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Kevin Spacey coming out as gay after the allegations is something Frank Underwood would do.

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

I'm surprised no one dressed as Trump to attend an IT screening. He's the most terrifying clown of all.

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

The best thing about #WonderWoman (besides absolutely everything) is that it is Pro-Woman without being Anti-Man.
Feminism = Equality, y'all

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Best friend Alexis is Vlogging our adventures here in New Zealand

https://t.co/FXau6aE7lp

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Oh it's so nice to be in Wellington where CEDAR TREES DONT EXIST MWAHAHA https://t.co/eYFlvjC0lu

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Shout out to my pops who had his first @torchystacos today for my last meal in Texas. 🌮🌮🌮

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Alright, Texas, it's been fun but I've got a cute boy waiting for me back in NZ and a first class ticket to get me there. 🖤🇳🇿🖤

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Yes I did just wrap crackers in a napkin to take with me into the bars.
I'm an adult.
That likes to snack.

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

My dads reaction to that car scene in @deadpoolmovie "I gotta assume this is CGI"

No pops they really cut off a guys head w/ a motorcycle

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Hey Twitter, sorry I've been ignoring you.
Uh I'm back in Texas.
Getting fat off tacos.
And smothered by dogs.
Happy holidays.

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Moving to New Zealand has allowed me to do so many things that I've always wanted to do but… https://t.co/j2lZdn7AY8

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

If you want to do something nice for someone, don't ask for permission.
Just do it. Surprise them.
It turns everything around.

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

The greatest friends are the ones that show up to your house with wine & food after you've had a rough week.

Without even being asked.

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Some dodo bird at my office put liquid soap in the dishwashers & flooded the kitchen. Which resulted in me cleaning it up until 10:30pm

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Apparently doing shots of @Benadryl at your desk means you should go home.

[Claire Phipps @Claire_Phipps]

In other #nzearthquake news: they saved those stranded cows https://t.co/1IJiszemXE

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Update: I'm safe. But earthquakes are terrifying and violent and LOUD. #nzearthquake

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Just to be clear: I didn't want Clinton to win either. I was really hoping for a freak accident to take them both out before election night.

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

Dear American friends: you're all welcome to live with me in New Zealand. #PresidentTrump

[Kris McMeans @TweetsByKris]

America: DA FUQ DID YOU JUST DO