Twig Betch

Slightly bitter, trying to get through life one fucking annoying person at a time. Blair Waldorf is my spirit animal. I probably hate you. Namaste, bitches.

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

Oh, suddenly I'm not your snapchat best friend anymore? You're cut off. #DontFuckWithMe #IDontDoSecondPlace

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

There isn't enough klonopin in the world to get me to fall asleep at night.

[DefiGazer @Defigazer]

Oh sry I can't come to your house bc there's a rumor going around that u don't have wifi

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

Spent a day at the hospital and came out to a solid 50+ emails from my two bosses, none of which were “how are you?” #wheresthelove

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

“@LO_forever_VE: I LOVE never have I ever. If I see it on my tl I will literally go back and respond to every single tweet 😂😂”

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

Sometimes I get drunk, eat all the snacks, puke all the snacks

[Tinderfessions @tinderfessions]

I’m very left-wing and anti-war… but if I see a guy in any sort of army gear/uniform I always swipe right. #awaitingorderssir - Ella

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

Why is it so difficult to find a hot, well endowed man to be at my beckoned call and not try to marry me

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

@Reilly_Cyrus except high school kids

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

Could you be a little less obvious about wanting to bang my BFF? I have low standards if you’re hot but Jesus.

[DefiGazer @Defigazer]

Have I mentioned how much I hate driving

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

RT @whyimsingle “Please don’t make me excited for something and then just cancel it”… you forgot the last word: AGAIN

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

I might have doubled up on my ADD meds today by accident… that could be bad

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

Regretting the sleeve of gluten free trader joes Oreos for dinner #fatkid #angrytum

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

@_SpoiledGirl that’s Adorbs

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

Coffee+adderall= leg twitching

[Twig Betch @TwigBetch]

I’m currently talking to both a Seth and a Trey. Naturally I have them saved in my phone as Seth Cohen and Trey Atwood. #theoc #forever