T witterless Patrick

Official parody account for the infamous #TwitterlessPatrick. A drunk 59 yr old woman in Prince Albert once referred to me as beautiful.

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Marking my territory in the Yukon.

Eagles, wolves, grizzlies, you have been warned: I AM THE ALPHA PREDATOR NOW.

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

I’m gonna be the Keith Richards of Earth Observation, ROCK ‘N ROLL!!!

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Bringing sexy back to Google Maps, one Street View image at a time. 😍

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

So I’ve made to 15 years where I work. As a gift for my service I asked for a chess board.

The quality of workmanship is, shall we say, lacking… 🫣

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

FYI - I’m starting an OnlyFans site where you can join and get pics of my feet while I’m in suggestive positions.

Here’s a teaser photo for you to enjoy.

#FeetByRollin

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Happy Halloween everyone!

Here I am in my ghost outfit 👻

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

@em_lindsay Criminal mastermind.

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Look at that delicate finger work. No one can blow* better than me.

*up a tire

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

@cathchampagne Patrick approved photo.
Also I don’t make it a habit of photographing people urinating (thankfully) 😁

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Marking my territory in the Yukon.

Eagles, wolves, grizzlies, you have been warned: I AM THE ALPHA PREDATOR NOW.

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

1. It’s a scientific fact that nothing is hotter than my crotch.

2. You can’t tell me what to do.

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Public Service Announcement:

Be careful on your morning walk, your pet may lose all respect for you if I am around.

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Sorry little girl, not even your joyous spirit can bring life to this cold hearted driver’s license photo.

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Holding a big, long, hard piece of salami makes #TwitterlessPatrick a happy boy.

#TwoHander
#SaltyGoodness

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Here we see an overzealous individual who has recognized me.

When you have a Twitter following as large as mine you will inevitably encounter fans who worship you like a God.

It’s a burden but I do it for you all.

#Humility
#ILiveToGive
#MoPatrickMoFollowersMoProblems

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Happy New Year y’all. #PinchMyCheeks

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

No, *YOU* look like an axe murderer from an episode of Dateline. 🪓🩸

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Bookface. I’ve been calling it this for years as I’m witty, so VERY witty.

[The Verge @verge]

Exclusive: Facebook is planning to rebrand the company with a new name https://t.co/0NuPhWQsc5

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

It may be October, but I’ll never not be after his lucky charms…

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Fully vaxxed and feeling free. Beware bars of Ottawa, Daddy Patty is back!

[T witterless Patrick @TwitlessPatrick]

Be careful what you wish for…