Ty Colgate

Stand up comedienne looking for love in all the wrong places

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

Just got a job at The Weather Channel. Hmu if you want those 10 day forecasts on the free.

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

great to see the Alma mater still doing well

[onion person @CantEverDie]

the tech world has genuinely not grappled with how many people
despise them and what they make

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

I’ve spent the past week in LA and let me tell you if a man walks up in a trench coat asking if you want a first look deal DO NOT SAY YES

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

LAX is like “oh you don’t have a private driver? well please take this crowded bus to our ride share fema camp”

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@remarks They never should have left binge drinking. It was clearly better

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

Got to do some shows in Bozeman Montana which is pretty exciting because it’s always been my dream to perform for Californians

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@TetraChad Any second now we’re gonna get our meal services back

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@uncledoomer unfortunately this isn’t true and nyc still blows out every other American city

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

Dark day for ppl who learned how to fit a week of their life into a backpack

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: Spirit Airlines to cease all operations this Saturday.

[swinky @swinkying]

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@HaterReport Is this ai?

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

🚨 A message from the White House Correspondents’ Dinner 🚨

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@nypost Me reading this knowing I was right all along

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@JesterJum If we made decisions based on that childish of a question, then we would ban alcohol, tobacco, gambling, fried food, cars, dumb Twitter accounts like yours, etc

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

If anyone says “hang around me if you want some new material” most likely what will happen is they’ll tell you a long story that doesn’t have an ending and then the’ll tell you their favorite chappelle bit

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@AlpacaAurelius Man wait until you find out when they discovered bacteria

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@ManhattanMingle Actually you’re mayor having to check your apartment because institutions have failed us is late stage capitalism

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@iamyesyouareno https://t.co/5bFoFL87Zf

[Brian McDonald @BrianMcDonaldIE]

The Strokes used their Coachella set to show CIA coups and Gaza footage. They’ll probably never be invited back, and they knew it.

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@TheChiefNerd Any podcast recs for that commute into the city?

[Ty Colgate @TyColgate]

@edumontenegrot @Mike_from_PA @ReemAmirIbrahim Edu is totally right. I’m currently buying my fourth home. I’ll only be there for Labor Day but it’s worth it just to make sure someone else doesn’t have it

[Aron Fromm @aronfromm]

A little short I made about Norm.