Tyler Stofferan

The official Twitter page of Tyler Stofferan.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

The woman singing "Santa Baby" claims she has been 'an awful good girl'. Yet here she is seducing a married man, my client, Mr. Claus.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

I disagree with the sentiment of "Let it Snow" because God knows my fat ass is gonna have to go out and shovel all of it.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

I go to work and I toil all day. Work these hands to the bone. Now I wanna know, WHAT does a guy gotta do to COME HOME and have a nice, quiet GRINCH MEAL with MY FAMILY?!?

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

My favorite Christmas song is "Feliz Navidad" SPECIFICALLY the Taco John's version.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

At one point in time, Amsterdam was the world's richest city. It will soon regain that spot if Lina keeps up her shopping habits.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

28 of the 31 people on this tour of Europe are college-age girls. They're talking about going on Zoom Proms so my 33 year old ass is finding it a little bit hard to relate.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

*sees bits of pineapple in a British urinal*
"That's culture, I guess."

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

When crossing roads in the UK, I respect the King's law and wait for green lights. Lina, however, refuses to bend the knee and dashes out across the street.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

Navigating the Tube in London isn't so hard. You just have to walk to Innit Station, transfer at You Wot? Station, and get off at Bruv.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

Lina asked me to name my top 5 fruits. Then she said banana Runts don't count, now I'm struggling to come up with a fourth.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me 10 lords a-leaping. Like, thanks, but could you guys go hop around somewhere else? I'm busy with my 9 ladies dancing, and don't get me started on those 8 maids a-milking...

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

@TheFratellis She said, "no no no no"
Then again, "yes, why don't you kill me?"

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

Not sure how much assistance he provides, but thanks for the support! 🇺🇦

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

Whenever he has friends over for an awesome party, they should say, "Raheem, you are the hostert with the Mostert!" #FinsUp

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

I probably shouldn't tweet this, but Alanis walked so Avril could run.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

Every person named 'Scott' that I know automatically gets the nickname 'Scotty 2 Hotty' no matter their level of attractiveness.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

Lina: My milk pump arrives tomorrow.
Me: I already got two of those right here 👐
Lina: 😑
Me: 😎

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

No better way to break my two-year Twitter silence than congratulating the ol' Iowa Hawkeyes for completely depantsing little brother on their big day. #HawkeyeState

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

So happy I didn't tweet 'I did a thing' and post of picture of me and my smiling bride after getting married this weekend like some sort of pleb.

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

*playing Days Gone*
Me: Hey Lina, where are your parents?
Lina: They're-
Me: DAYS GONE!
*I lean in for a kiss*

[Tyler Stofferan @TyStoff]

Video games, because you can't platinum a book.