Tyler Antonelli

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

Like nothing bad obviously, but I just wanna see what my toddler would do if I gave him Chicken Vindaloo. Or let him spray himself in the face with the sprinkler

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

On Father’s Day you should be allowed to try all the intrusive thoughts of fatherhood

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

The Papa John’s Pizza app has its own ai

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is being mogged by a looksmaxxing chad in front of a foid

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

“Oh my god what even is curling??? I don’t even understand what’s happening!”

Hey… just watch it for 30 seconds. There’s a massive target on the ground. Take a wild guess at what the objective is here

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

@InterviewsChat You ai’s will never understand the human desire to rip cigs in a smoky 90s office building

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

Im hoping to make a career change in the near future and looking for advice on what to pursue

I’m looking for a job with the following criteria:

1. Meaningful work that positively impacts people

2. Can smoke indoor cigs while working

Does anyone know if this job exists?

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

Oh mom and dad you still have the same towels from when we were in high school? Cool. The pillows? Same? Oh they’re actually grammas? Oh they’re 57 years old? Great. Great.

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

You of course know all the obscure reindeer that no one remembers, but do you recall… the only famous one that everybody knows?

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

Dude last Christmas my boy gave this girl his heart, bro swear to god THE VERY NEXT DAY she gave it away

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

One of my favorite concepts in biology is speciation where two populations of the same species diverge into two new species and I always wonder how close we are to that with Italians and Italian Americans.

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

You know that little douchebag in The Fault in Our Stars was chiefing them cigs as soon as his girl left

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

Forever thinking about the time a coworker was crying because she had just put her dog down and our boss tried to console her by telling her about how one time she ran over one of her dogs and killed it

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

I haven’t seen a tweet from someone I actually know in at least two years

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

I love country music cause country music will be like “I’ve never been anything other than a redneck but I can confidently say it’s the best lifestyle” which is a lot like saying “I’ve only ever had Pizza Hut but I know for a fact it is the best pizza in the world”

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

No, my dad doesn’t really say “I love you”but he did say this in the family chat:

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

Replying to everything my wife tells me with “the same thing happened to a guy I went to high school with”

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

I get that part of getting older is not knowing younger celebrities, but occasionally I’ll see a headline on Instagram like “Streamer Y$L Handlz was caught life streaming with Purpl 2Bags’ girlfriend HunnyXXX👄🍯” and it makes me want to burn the world down

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

I love Black Mirror because all the episodes are “what if we use technology to create incomprehensible horrors?” And then there’s just one episode that’s like “what if you and your boys could make out in a video game??”

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

@FunkyKohlMedina Damn the Second Coming happened and I didn’t even get to partake? Makes me question my algorithm right now

[Tyler Antonelli @TylerAntonelli]

Lowkey kinda pissed they didn’t ban TikTok so we could go back to peak 2010s social media which was just going on YouTube and watching “Best of Family Guy” clips