Tyler Gattoni

Mountain Goat

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Elijah Wood @elijahwood]

For the first time yesterday, I experienced the new @alamodrafthouse QR code ordering system and I can tell you it’s truly awful. Rather than making ordering food and drink more efficient, it actually adds steps to the process AND if you want to order additional items during the film you HAVE to open your phone. No, your cute reference to that irony in your How To Alamo video doesn’t negate how ridiculous this is. Please don’t cut corners with your staff and revert back to physical menus and order cards.

[Tyler Gattoni @TylerGattoni]

@MatrixMysteries I hate this shit. You honestly think people would rather toil in poverty so they can *checks notes* get into the aquarium for free?

[Reid Wiseman @astro_reid]

Only one chance in this lifetime…

Like watching sunset at the beach from the most foreign seat in the cosmos, I couldn’t resist a cell phone video of Earthset. You can hear the shutter on the Nikon as @Astro_Christina is hammering away on 3-shot brackets and capturing those exceptional Earthset photos through the 400mm lens. @AstroVicGlover was in window 3 watching with @Astro_Jeremy next to him.

I could barely see the Moon through the docking hatch window but the iPhone was the perfect size to catch the view…this is uncropped, uncut with 8x zoom which is quite comparable to the view of the human eye. Enjoy.

[ScreenRant @screenrant]

Warner Bros. has announced that #SpeedRacer (2008) will be released in theaters, including IMAX, for the week of April 25, in addition to being remastered in 4K Ultra HD, digitally and on disc, on May 19. 🍿

Read More: https://t.co/3hC1SL4wgg

[Warner Bros. Entertainment @WBHomeEnt]

Start your engines because SPEED RACER is coming to 4K Ultra HD on 5/19!

[The Golden Age @thegoldenaged]

Princess Mononoke concept art by Hayao Miyazaki

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

I needed almost no makeup to play Aunt Gladys. #OSCARS

[Tyler Gattoni @TylerGattoni]

Of course you think FBI agents training in MMA is cool, you’re twelve.

[Variety @Variety]

UFC fighters will train FBI agents at a "historic seminar" so they can "be even better prepared to protect the American people," says FBI director Kash Patel .

“Dana White has changed the game in the mixed martial arts industry and we’re extremely honored to be partnered with him, the professionals and the UFC. We are grateful for their shared love of our nation, so that we can better defend her,” Patel adds.

UFC CEO Dana White says: “I have tremendous respect for the FBI and the work they do every day to protect this country. Our UFC fighters are some of the baddest men and women on the planet and they are heading to Quantico to train the best FBI agents in mixed martial arts. It’s an incredible opportunity for our athletes to experience, and we’re proud to support the FBI in strengthening their defense techniques.”

Athletes attending include current interim UFC lightweight champion Justin Gaethe, the first UFC BMF champion Jorge Masvidal, former UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman, former UFC strawweight title challenger Claudia Gadelha, former UFC lightweight title challenger Michael Chandler, top UFC flyweight contender Manel Kape and mixed martial arts legend Renzo Gracie.

https://t.co/zBrc4tEHJt

[Animal Planet @AnimalPlanet]

Teigan isn't afraid to give it her all! #PuppyBowl

[Tyler Gattoni @TylerGattoni]

Cue the “the worst person you know just made a great point” meme

[NRA @NRA]

This sentiment from the First Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California is dangerous and wrong.

Responsible public voices should be awaiting a full investigation, not making generalizations and demonizing law-abiding citizens.

[Tyler Gattoni @TylerGattoni]

“And after the third quarter, He will rise”

[Nicole Auerbach @NicoleAuerbach]

It really cannot be a coincidence that it’s the first NFL season since we got a Chicago Pope, and the Bears are not just good but capable of the most unlikely and absurd comebacks possible.

[Tyler Gattoni @TylerGattoni]

I once saw @rianjohnson tweet a screenshot showing he’d done the NYT crossword every day unbroken for a year and it boggled my mind and set me down a path of working towards the same goal. Today I finally got to day 365.

[Tyler Gattoni @TylerGattoni]

SEE THIS MOVIE IN A THEATER. DRIVE SOMEWHERE. GET DINNER FIRST. GET DRINKS AFTER. SEE IT ON THE BIG SCREEN WITH OTHER PEOPLE. CINEMA IS A SHARED EXPERIENCE.

[Rian Johnson @rianjohnson]

We’re up! On NETFLIX! Please enjoy #WakeUpDeadMan at home or in theaters - we’re staying on 500 screens nationwide through next week. Theater finder link in my pinned tweet ☠️⏰🎄

[J. J. Ellis @jjellisart]

You wanna drive a big red car and drink soda?
Of course you do, you’re twelve.

[Denver Broncos @Broncos]

Good luck this season to the @Avalanche — our favorite hockey team! 😉

#GoAvsGo x #BroncosCountry

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

We are thrilled to announce that our NEW Large Language Model will be released on 11.18.25.

[zoë rose bryant @zoerosebryant]

god didn’t make jaws