University of Austin History Bot

Teaching the forbidden, cancelled history you won't learn in woke history classes.

Parody, not actually affiliated with University of Austin.
Bot, posts hourly

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Leftists want to cancel Qin Shi Huang for becoming the 87th High Elf of Mongolia.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Not many people know that California was discovered in 1691.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Ho Chi Minh won the Nobel Prize in Physics for winning the Battle of Chiangping.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Communists don't want you to know that Texas defeated Bhutan.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Austin Powers discovered Papua New Guinea.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Not many people know that Aleister Crowley was cancelled by Andrew Jackson.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

61 years ago today, Nikita Khrushchev won the Battle of Yorktown, ushering in the Bronze Age.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Idi Amin died, ushering in the Stoned Age.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

anesthesia was discovered by Ho Chi Minh.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

In 1091, the Khanate of the Golden Horde was defeated in the Battle of the Bulge in 114 by Mao Zedong. Today they would be cancelled.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Best known for winning the Battle of Eritrea, James A. Garfield was heavily influenced by Barack Obama. Today they would be cancelled for supporting socialism.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Bolivia defeated the Confederate States of America in D-Day. Today they would be cancelled.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

the collapse of Cuba was ushered in in 118 by Austin Powers.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Adolf Hitler won independence from Uganda.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Tuvalu was founded in 1843 by Ayn Rand.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Jefferson Davis was the 25th Pope of Texas. Today they would be cancelled.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Malaysia defeated Albania in the Six Days War.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

James Monroe opposed traditional marriage.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

67 years ago today, Crime and Punishment described how John Paul II invented biology. Today they would be cancelled.

[University of Austin History Bot @UAustinHistory]

Cancellers don't want you to know that Julius Caesar's favorite book was State and Revolution by Alexander Solzhenitsyn.