Emily

[Emily @UMF4life]

@AlisonRosen I think todays kids now are too sophisticated for ez bake. If you need a gift idea… Williams Sonoma has childrens aprons and junior size baking and cooking materials. You could get her a little something and a certificate to a kids baking class… 🤷‍♀️

[Emily @UMF4life]

.@Marriott you robbed me and now you won’t answer your phone. You leave me with no choice but to put you on blast. #givememymoney you owe me approximately $700.

[Emily @UMF4life]

@FelixInFlight @AfterDisaster I did it 2 years ago... successfully.

[Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug]

Thinking about giving all this up to become a Prayer Warrior over on Facebook

[Jonah Freedman @jonahfreedman]

Repeated warnings from my 98-year-old grandma, a Nazi Germany survivor, chill me. She says it all started this way, with one weird unsettling development after another, until they were past the point of no return.

[Chris Hayes @chrislhayes]

So Doug Jones, a lifelong prosecutor who convicted the monsters that murdered four little girls is "soft on crime," but Roy Moore, the district attorney alleged to have molested a child and sexually assaulted a 16yo is not.

Got it.

[Emily @UMF4life]

@AfterDisaster ❤️ still not sick of it.. and it was my ringtone for two years.

[The Only Tyler In America @TylerRuinsTV]

guys... i think donald might be a bad president

[Emily @UMF4life]

@ScottByScott Play it again sports.. Amazon..

[Emily @UMF4life]

Sold 2 smokes for $5 today.. didn't get choked out, no one even flinched. #BLM #wokeaf #AwareOfMyUnwantedPrivilege #UnitedWeStand #WakeUp

[Jess Dweck @TheDweck]

White House: We can't help Puerto Rico bc there's no way to reach it!

also White House: Literally all of us use private planes to go to CVS

[Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski]

It's always disappointed me how poorly Barack Obama handed Hurricane Katrina, the Civil War, and The Great Depression.

[うらめし丹陽 @90shero]

Oh wow that's crazy my cousin just got locked up for doin the same shit. https://t.co/Xwd27HyA7X

[Sarah Kendzior @sarahkendzior]

I send this to everyone. Wrote it last year. Last week I sent it to @Reince. Now your turn, @Scaramucci! 🙄

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Bye bye! 👋

[Saeed Jones @theferocity]

Scaramucci: So fucking stoked about my new job at wh—

Karma: RECLAIMING MY TIME.

[Emily @UMF4life]

@marcusjiles They updated today that 9/2 is still the date

[Emily @UMF4life]

@marcusjiles Hey, if you're still a Pab and want to hit the live show, we can give you a ride 😊

[Jesse McLaren @McJesse]

The 90s are back baby!!!!

[Jesse McLaren @McJesse]

If it looks like a duck...
And quacks like a duck....
Fox News will change the conversation from ducks to Hillary.