sammy

hockey fan • man hater • @DODGERSFILM #1 fan/wifey • she/her

[✧æther✧ @ether_ly]

call me a clit the way men be rubbing me the wrong way these days omg

[critter @BecomingCritter]

Me acquiring material possessions: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

Me moving my possessions all at once: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

[mssexxyirl @mssexxyirl]

ever since i was a little girl i’ve always known i wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when i grew up

[tt✮⋆ @Bluebirdeyessss]

i love being in STEM (shenanigans, tomfoolery, escapades, and mischief)

[bean smoothie™ @beansm00thie]

plan A is to lock in, plan B is to blow my shit smoove off

[🤠 @iluvbvnny]

sometimes a big t-shirt is lingerie

[ℋ𝒶𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓎 @Am_hailey]

if my nipples want to be the star of my outfit who am i to stop them

[miri @eggoslug]

fuck age gap, a dessert gap relationship would never work for me. Wdym you don’t want ice cream right now

[grovy @grovymango]

When i date men it's to get them to register for a library card so the government will allocate more funding to them

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

i cannot stop spending money. I am the primary breadloser of my household

[Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar]

I took her to my river and I creeked it

[Sunny @sunflavaa]

The problem is summertime feels so unserious like wow it’s nice af outside let’s not go to work lol

[miia @miiagarro]

"all women do is use men" i have never once found a man useful

[Hollywood Deals @LocalDingus]

the mold growing in my water bottle said you would say that

[sammy @UN0LVR]

men don’t get terrorized enough and that’s why they act like that

[𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 @____selah]

i miss when rednecks hated the government and cops, now they're bootlickers

[chatpile roan @chatpileroan]

a beautiful woman named beep is trying to contact me through my carbon monoxide alarm

[crittur @miwwmiu]

Thnx for laughing at my joke do u want me romantically

[miia @miiagarro]

your secret is safe with me unless it’s funny

[tia @hemminof]

guys please be gentle to me on april fools i am really stupid and gullible sometimes </3