Ucastle Newnited

Fan account of Ucastle Newnited, number 9 on the subbuteo pitch and number 1 in our hearts. Always backing the boys. Views are not representative of the club.

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

Nearly as much of a fraud as Archimedes Plinth. Less bald though, to be fair to him.

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

This week we are standing in solidarity with Gary Lineker and his fellow pundits. We shall not be flicked.

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

I've not reminded anyone in a while but it is always worth saying.

Subbuteo. Lives.

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

@Shinksy_ Fucking hell he's bad at his job

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

Finished now. It's an unequivocal all-timer, one of the best pieces of writing with the Doctor in it. It is simultaneously absolutely unbroadcastable on television. The type of story Big Finish should be doing all the time, and so obviously what they very rarely do

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

I have been seized by an inexplicable urge to watch actually good Doctor Who, can't think why.

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

But I have settled for listening to The Holy Terror by Robert Shearman for the first time, and god it is absolutely brilliant. Just like everything of his I've ever read

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

Finally the BBC takes notice of us. All five of us.
https://t.co/Wh0Ul3fvMS

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

@futter_vogel I haven't received my copy yet so it couldn't make the list

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

Toon Shearer's Autobiography
A Universal History of Subbuteo
3rd Place 4 Ever: An Impossible Tale
Where's Incognito Mussolini?
Wolf Hall

[Jessica Hooten Wilson @HootenWilson]

A friend just texted me this: best 5 novels in the past 25 yrs. What would be your answer?

[Topher Florence @topherflorence]

back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

With this injection into our funds, surely its only a matter of time before Ucastle Newnited land a marquee manager #FutterOut

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

We here at Ucastle Newnited are pleased to announce that the Saudis have now paid a sufficiently large bribe for all of us here to forget about their human rights abuses https://t.co/Et0wYUHFNz

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

@futter_vogel I'll add her to the list

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

Happy birthday to this joke. One day Ucastle Newnited might even reach this position in the table. Or win this number of games in a league again

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

We're pleased to announce the signing of Immobile to Ucastle. In combination with Hansi Flick we feel like he could really be going places

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

Toon Shearer has been reprimanded by club officials, more details to follow

[Jermaine 'The Sock' Throbson @EliteEgregious]

@UNewnited Ya boi caught in 4k 👀

[Ucastle Newnited @UNewnited]

The rumours that Toon Shearer has been messaging models on Instagram are entirely unfounded. As indeed are the images circulating online. Subbuteo players are entirely unable to send nudes