Ulysses S. Cocksman

Longhorns, Astros, dumb jokes, bourbon. Used to do stupid posts on a smart blog. Man of some people. Wishing everything was better.

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

these are truly wonderful, kind people who have just lost everything. i have always been in awe of their closeness, their joy, their love for everyone around them. please share, and consider contributing if you are able, no matter how small. https://t.co/XwxVdBSIvi

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

hello friends while you are taking in the Good Football today, perhaps the spirit will move you to donate to the American Heart Association to support my dear friend Anna, a congenital heart defect survivor.
https://t.co/rd2ITkbnM3

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

if you do i will say something very nice about you and your team in front of everyone

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

hello friends while you are taking in the Good Football today, perhaps the spirit will move you to donate to the American Heart Association to support my dear friend Anna, a congenital heart defect survivor.
https://t.co/rd2ITkbnM3

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

tell your children and grandchildren where you were when you watched silas bolden invent the unfair catch today

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

@maybef4n legitimately unhinged behavior out there

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

fairly certain of it at this point

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

can only assume that silas bolden did a mountain of medicinal grade cocaine and decided to be a legend today

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

if texas goes to the hurry up there’s still time for one more ou fumble

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

can only assume that silas bolden did a mountain of medicinal grade cocaine and decided to be a legend today

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

MY GOD THE BALLS ON GARY PETTIS

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

@HouCounterplot marge schott tribute

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

ok but now the braves should have to play a doubleheader against the tigers

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

same

[Collin @CopierCollin]

In honor of this I will post my favorite Win Probability chart :

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

@leslieemullin @CoachJayArnold you did the right thing for the right reason

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

@leslieemullin @CoachJayArnold fuck yeah leslie

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

i'm getting texas in the top 10 the best way i know how, everybody jump in and flood the zone with that sweet sweet cow money💰

[Jay Arnold @JayArnoldTX]

Last day of my twenties let’s have a damn Friday.

If you’re in the giving mood we are approaching the end of the #SendJayAway fundraiser!

Donate to a food bank, send me receipt, let me know allegiance so I can add it to the big board.

Knocking on $6,000 raised so far!

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

did you know texas is leading? do you want that to continue? does it enrage you? well friend get your supple ass in the game tonight

[Jay Arnold @JayArnoldTX]

CLEMSON IS ON THE BOARD!

#SendJayAway fundraiser is SO CLOSE to 9k.

Come on folks get in!!!!

It’s for my birthday!

Donate to food bank, send me receipt, let me know allegiance!!!

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

hello! have you had several bourbons? are you in a headspace to spend money frivolously online? go spend it at a food bank and tell @CoachJayArnold about it to prove longhorns moral high ground

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

just donate to a food bank and send a shot of the receipt to your buddy @CoachJayArnold with your school affiliation. https://t.co/W1JPTTXnKG has full matching right now, just sayin

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

that whole goal line sequence made me hate football

[Ulysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman]

who am i to complain but this is an aesthetically displeasing football contest