Sarcastic USMNT Fan

Basic ramblings of everything USMNT. My sarcastic posts are my own.

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

@USMNTTruther @AnexiNanas What left back is better than Tim Ream? Robinson? Dest?? Please

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

@AlexaBliz_ Alabama

[Mark Valorian @markvalorian]

A critical element that the "rulebook purists" arguing Balogun deserved a red card are conveniently overlooking:

BALOGUN was the one who was challenged from behind.

The Bosnian player played *through* Balogun from behind and placed himself in the path of Balogun's natural step.

When he begins taking that step, Balogun has no idea the Bosnian player would even be in front of him. In that sense, you can't really even consider his move a "challenge." It was simply a step that incidentally landed in the same place the opponent's foot did.

In fact, the reason Balogun's step came down so hard is *because* the Bosnian player challenged into him and knocked him off balance.

This is not "reckless" or "excessive force" by any stretch of the imagination.

The red card was *obviously* unjustified from the outset. The only thing FIFA got wrong here is not immediately suspending the red card after the match.

[Election Wizard @ElectionWiz]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Rodger 🍜 @catholiclawyer]

@ESPNFC @BelRedDevils Bad look for Belgium. Instead of welcoming the opportunity to play against the best their opponent has to offer, Belgium has chosen to act like whiny btches.

[USMNT Only @usmntonly]

WE ARE SO BACK.

[MatchReport @MatchReportH]

🚨🇺🇸 Zlatan Ibrahimović on Malik Tillman’s Stunning Free Kick

“That is why football is beautiful. You lose a player, everyone expects you to suffer, but then one man walks over the ball with ice in his veins. Tillman didn’t just score a free kick—he killed Bosnia’s belief. The wall was there, the goalkeeper was ready, but perfection doesn’t ask for permission. It simply happens. That is world-class.”

“People think free kicks are about power. No. They are about personality. The ball listens only to players who have complete confidence in themselves. Tillman struck it like he already knew where it was going before his foot touched it. That’s not luck—that’s elite quality.”

“When you are down to ten men, every goal counts double because it crushes the opponent’s spirit. Bosnia thought they had life after the red card. Then Tillman reminded them that one moment of brilliance is enough to finish a World Cup tie. That’s the difference between surviving… and dominating.” 👑

#USABIH

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

Gold card, green card, red card, who gives a shit

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

Berhalter to Trusty, I told ya’ll

[QBgami @QBgami]

Erling Haaland vs. Iraq

[scuffed @scuffedpod]

Interesting dichotomy forming amongst the team. Hand Rubbers vs Arm Folders. Most surprised by Matt Freese. He doesn’t strike me as a hand rubber

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

Wake up Sweden! 🇸🇪

Time to see if two strikers and Scandinavian stubbornness is enough.

Heja Sverige!

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

@FIFAWorldCup it’s time to do something about Japan’s repeated refusal to behave like an underdog.

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

“It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.”

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen.

I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify.

In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather.

"Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully.

"Honey, that's what it looks like."

The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it."

I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it.

I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South.

It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent.

"Well?" the waitress asked.

"I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed."

"Everybody does, hon."

Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it.

Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating.

I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden.

It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

These are everything I love about this platform and my country

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a warehouse store. A fully roasted chicken costs five dollars, the raw chicken beside it costs seven, and I stood between them like a man between two truths.

Golden. Hot. Seasoned. Spinning in glory under the lights, in a line of its brothers. Four dollars and ninety-nine cents.

I checked the raw birds. Seven dollars. Pale. Cold. You must do everything yourself.

This is not commerce. Commerce does not move backward. Somewhere in this building, mathematics lies defeated.

I asked the man at the counter. "How is the cooked bird cheaper than the raw bird?"

"Been five bucks forever. They keep it that way."

"But the store loses."

"Yep. On purpose."

On purpose. I held my receipt with both hands.

In my land, a lord who lowered the price of rice in a hard winter was remembered for generations. They built him a small shrine. This store does it every day, with chicken, and tells no one.

A woman behind me grew tired of my reverence. "It's just a chicken, sir."

It is not just a chicken. It is a wound the merchant takes on purpose, so that anyone, on any day, with five dollars, eats like a lord. The bird is the message. The price is the vow.

I will confess: I bought two. I did not need two. The second was not hunger. It was gratitude, and it was delicious.

Some prices are not prices. They are promises.

I return every week now. I take one bird. I bow toward the deli, briefly, so as not to alarm the staff. They have begun nodding back.

The vow holds. The bird turns. Five dollars.

Long may it spin.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Sarcastic USMNT Fan @USMNT_Hooligan]

We’re cheering for you Freddy.
Now to try Texas BBQ.

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

THE WORLD CUP TRIP HAS FINALLY MADE IT TO TEXAS!!!!

After 7 days on the road (yes a lot of detours) we have made it to the state where Germany will play its first World Cup match!

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

THE WORLD CUP TRIP HAS FINALLY MADE IT TO TEXAS!!!!

After 7 days on the road (yes a lot of detours) we have made it to the state where Germany will play its first World Cup match!

[RicardoEscobarFC @RescobarFC]

*No puedes apoyar una selección distinta a la de tu país*

Yo apoyando a Haiti

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

Türkiye fans still in bed when they hear the start of the Turkish national anthem 🇹🇷