“Is it just me or is this really good for a free card? I know most of these people, maybe I’m just a big fan.” - My brother who watches every UFC event
I’m in NJ and it’s illegal to have bags for your groceries and you need to buy even just beer from a liquor store. Very hard to get in a 4th of July mood in this God forsaken place.
If you want to know what the end of busy season is like, today someone I worked with asked if my “workload is lightening up” and I was confused why he wanted to talk to me about lightning
Last year I got promoted in both my jobs and got my dream car, but chalked it up as a wash because I gained 10 lbs and got rear ended and still don’t have my car back.
I was talking to my mom about if I should get a 2 or 4 seat dining table for my new place and she said “Get a 4, because all your friends are getting married so you’ll need at least 3 if anyone comes over”
My mom been my biggest hater.
I just ate 2 ice cream cones after a full day/week of eating and I didn’t even enjoy the second one, just deeply sighed and powered through it like it was my job.
Grab your hard hat and lunch pail, it’s back to the ice cream mines we go.