UT Dallas Support

The unofficial, parody account of the University of Texas at Dallas. #gocomets #whoosh #pleasestopputtingyourfeetoncouches

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

writing fingers turn to twitter fingers, go to class and stop fighting over a rock pls

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we apologize for the lack of communication, our staff have only recently come back from a very long spring break trip and one seems to be missing his nose

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we’d apologize for the smell of the campus but y’all know we’re just gonna do the same thing in the fall and decide to put manure on every exposed patch of grass on campus right?

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we’re currently searching for a new mascot, turns out 21 Savage was not the only one overstaying his visa

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

Clemson**, Bama would be too easy

[Me being a loyal Cowboys fan every single week @ZBensellam]

We want Bama

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we’ve decided UT Dallas’ #1 problem is people parking without a pass so we’re hiring new parking lot monitors! highly motivated, fast speed-walkers, and awful sleep schedules preferred

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we’re glad to see everyone back safely, now can y’all PLEASE stop drawing Temoc porn everywhere

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

it’s actually mildly concerning we have to tweet this but, if y’all could stop squatting on the floor in bathroom stalls doing who knows what, that would be great

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we would like to inform our students that we have added 10,000 students to UT Dallas next semester and only 25 parking spots!!!

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

they don’t pay us enough to work over the break so any concerns and complains can be directed towards your local trash can, enjoy y’alls break

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we’d like to wish everyone a great break, don’t forget to make a New Years resolution to get your shit together and never follow through

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

y’all also got stop hitting and crowding around every single girl in the gym, move on pal and lift in your lacoste polo

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

y’all really made us remove carpet from almost every place on campus because y’all can’t wash yourselves

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we would wish everyone that has a final tomorrow good luck, how does it feel knowing that out of all possible days your final is on the absolute last day?

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

it may surprise y’all but begging for an A after y’all missed 98% of classes and did 23% of the homework doesn’t work on our professors

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we get y’all got finals but can y’all stop bringing a thanksgiving feast every time y’all go to the library and study for two hours

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we would like to remind all students that revving a V6 mustang and doing donuts in the parking lot kinda makes you look like a chach

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we take a break from our regularly scheduled sarcasm to remind y’all to be safe out there, both mentally and physically

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we would like to thank everyone that came to the Dining Hall for late night breakfast, those powdered eggs were about to expire

[UT Dallas Support @UTDallasSupport]

we would like to wish all our students good luck on all finals! and if you’re sad just be happy you didn’t get food poisoning from the dining hall this week!