Ian

I'm the tall dark handsome one in the background.

[Ian @UTW72]

#MathematicalMovies The counting of Monte Cristo

[Ian @UTW72]

Sorry I’m running late for work. I’ll be there shortly. #TextsYouOnlySendWhenDrunk

[Ian @UTW72]

Yes #TextsYouOnlySendWhenDrunk

[Ian @UTW72]

Looty calls were made in reference to a sexual rendezvous with a pirate. #FakePirateFacts

[Ian @UTW72]

Long John Silver retired from pirating and went onto make adult movies. #FakePirateFacts

[Ian @UTW72]

The boomerang is one of the hardest Pilates move. #FakePirateFacts

[Ian @UTW72]

I’m into minature photography. Want to see my small dicks? #DatingProfileTypos

[Ian @UTW72]

Keen ornithologists. Specialising in fucks. #DatingProfileTypos

[Ian @UTW72]

Break the rules before conforming later. #5WordAdviceForTeens

[Ian @UTW72]

#RuinAGetWellCard
You’ll soon be back at work!

[Ian @UTW72]

#UnlikelyThingsToCongratulate cumming first.

[Ian @UTW72]

#ThoughtsWhenImWasted gotta land this plane.

[Ian @UTW72]

#ThoughtsWhenImWasted what did the boss just say?

[Ian @UTW72]

#ThoughtsWhenImWasted Why is it the quicker I walk, the longer it takes. Diminishing returns.

[Ian @UTW72]

#ThoughtsWhenImWasted mustn’t go on Twitter.

[Tony Yorkshire @Tony__Yorkshire]

BASTARD! #PutinPunishesUK

[Piney @TheRealPiney]

I'm quitting drinking for a year.

*I'm quitting. Drinking for a year.

Sorry, punctuation is everything.

[Ian @UTW72]

#ItMaySoundParanoidBut I don’t think it’s Black Sabbath

[Ian @UTW72]

#ThingsYouCanSayDuringSexAndWhenShopping I’m not doing self checkout.

[Ian @UTW72]

#My1stQuestionInHeaven is how did you get here?

[Ian @UTW72]

#My1stQuestionInHeaven is relax, I’m here. So if this is heaven, where are the beers?