Brandon utley

Political minded, fun loving man. Unapologetically dedicated to living how I see fit.

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

Rent relief tax credit is a terrible idea wtf are people thinking

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

My contact just rolled up in my eye, and I'm fairly certain my only option is to cut my eye out. Time to be a one eyed toothless pirate and fulfill my destiny.

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

"Hey uncle B you wanna help me fold my laundry? I'm supposed to because it's one of my daily chores."

"Uh not really dude thats yours to do."

"...... you really should, it's good for you to help me"
😂😂😂🤣🤣

[Iowa State University Police Department @ISUPD]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoist

[UFC Europe @UFCEurope]

How cool is @Ruthless_RL!?

Here's what was said in the aftermath of #UFC235...

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

Anyone else always do the little "mmmm" before saying bye on the phone? So it comes out "mmmbye"? Or is it just me.

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

Average conversation between two midwestern guys who kinda know each other but not really.

"Hey Bill, how you doin?"

"Oh you know, just another day in paradise"

"Dont I know it 👉👉"

Finger guns are optional but highly recommended

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

Last night my nephew woke me up at 2AM bc he just had to tell me he finally pulled out his baby tooth that was bugging him. I'm oddly ok with that #kidsareawesome

[NBS Golf @GolfNBS]

This is literally a scene from Semi-Pro 😂 https://t.co/LN9bfrpHz7

[Patrick Casey @patkc13]

Have a stress fracture? Try a lavender, eucalyptus & chamomile essential oil concoction. Ur leg still gonna be broke as fuck, but ur room will smell amazing and it’ll calm ur anxiety enough to apply for a medical redshirt.

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

The best crew, is a diverse crew

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

Up at 1:30? Let's all make sure we are paying attention the the situation in South America. Recently updated map to which countries are supporting which President of Venezuela
https://t.co/Ke7nhYAIgw

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

Sucks I'll only get to see one of my college buddies when I go to Iowa city next weekend. But I'm still pumped to celebrate @Palmaro29's birthday and stay with Jlay!

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

This is the best video I’ve ever seen

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

Can we get a timer counting down until Olympic Curling starts please #🥌🥌🥌🥌

[Thud @hudSONofa_Bitch]

Bears: You gonna make this kick?
Cody Parkey : https://t.co/IYQqYJmO8I

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

@leahtardduh wait wtf

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

@mjv21 Legit got maybe 2 hours of sleep after laying in bed for 9 hours. And that was after having lifted. I feel your pain

[Brandon utley @Uhtley]

Now that I know you aren't supposed to jump on elevators, I now have an irresistible urge to jump everytime I'm on one