ParentingUncensored

Real parenting

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

The "Kiss and Ride Program" is not a public service event to show off your outfit at school while dropping your kids off! It's for all of us still in their damn pj's!

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

That proud moment when your 7 year old uses Sh*t as a rhyming word for their homework!

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

Senior Neighbours- laughing with joy at me squirting the kids with the hose.
Me-Waving and thinking they have no clue this is cheap therapy!

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

Wishing kids came with a volume switch. Then I can just nod and smile in silence!

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

Them: "You're no fun, we're calling grandma to go play with"
Me: "Please do! And don't forget the part about for a really long time!!"

[Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy]

In marriage, there are two conversations:

The one you think you're having and the one your husband hears.

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

With all the foot stomping, I figure my neighbours think my kids are professional tap dancers!

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

After lecturing people for 6 years that my twins are not identical, I try to teach them how to tie their shoes at the same time!

[The 21st Century SAHM @21stcenturysahm]

Current parenting level:

Saying "I have to go potty" while at a bar with only adults.

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

Traveling with small kids https://t.co/eD7GpuHSoP

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

What real family vacations look like...no one knows who the real hostages are!

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

Before kids-"I will not be the parent that bribes my kids with food"
After kids-"If you sit and try to tie your shoes-here is a gummy bear!"

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

The stay at home vs. working mom debate (my version) https://t.co/zh7Un6nkiO

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

The stay at home vs. working mom debate (my version) https://t.co/wNQdJt0ncO

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

My teens cleaned their rooms & according to my sink & countertops, they've been hoarding my whole kitchen.

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

I was so excited to get into a hot bath-only to look up and see Barbie and her crew body shaming me with their evil eyes and perky breasts.

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

Bathroom door with mom on the other side-Ninja Skills to open. Bathroom door with dad-impossible to open!

[HuffPost Family @HuffPostFamily]

The funniest parenting tweets this week from @sarcasticmommy4, @daddydoinwork, @LetMeStart, @EverydayGirlDad & more https://t.co/8owrpCbWob

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

Having kids when your older makes you creative! "I bet you can't go down that water slide 30 times in a row! Sure I can count...10,11,6,7...

[ParentingUncensored @UncensoredMom2]

Is it wrong that out of 500 plus students, the principal knows your name, your kids names and all of the phone number you can be reached at?