University of JM

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

NEWS: Campus officials scramble to locate an unknown piece of UJM property after Mayer himself ambiguously claimed "something's missing!"

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Students protesting since 4/20 in the UJM quad loudly proclaim "who says you can't get stoned?" while slow dancing with a burning joint.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Two students were rescued by a search team after getting lost in Paradise Valley, which turned out to be kind of a disappointment. #UJMCares

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Register now for JM435: Intro to Continuum. Students will time travel back to 2006 to wake John Mayer up from dreaming with a broken heart.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

The Daily Clarity reports a small group of students have been gathered in the campus courtyard for 6 days, "waiting on the world to change."

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Registration is now open for JM175: Intro to Mayer Communication and Oration, students will learn to say what they need to say.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

@LauraLynneVu Make sure to check out our other tweets, the #UJM administration poors at least half of their heart into every 140 characters.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Several students fled campus on Friday night after one mistook the July 4th fireworks for warfare, yelling "BOMBS ARE FALLING EVERYWHERE..."

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

NEWS: U of #JohnMayer track star Georgia Swift has a sprained ankle after falling while running through the halls of her former high school.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

@joeymanse Our apologies. #UJM's twitter is run largely by administrators who weren't Born and Raised on social media like today's youth.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

The #UJM campus-wide poker tournament erupted after the victor revealed their winning cards, a jack of spades and a queen of California.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Univ of #JohnMayer Family Weekend was a smash success, as several girls who became lovers that turned into mothers enjoyed their daughters.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Campus police have apprehended several illicit drug distributors who promised local students "this'll make you feel bigger than your body."

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Take JM355: Child Planning in the Mayer Era. Students will examine the consequences of "if you want love, make it" Mayer culture. #UJM

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

A cease & desist letter from John Mayer himself has forced the campus photography club to stop making 3x5 prints. They will now use squares.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

The Daily Clarity reports @UniversityofJM geography students have made a major discovery in their three year case study "Why Georgia?"

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

BREAKING: The UJM volunteer fire corps flocked to a wildfire after an inconsolable student attempted to "slow dance in a burning dorm room."

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

The Daily Clarity reports that a minor explosion in the Mayer Chemistry Lab has left "clouds of sulfur in the air." All were evacuated. #UJM

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Please visit Perry Hall where the new maternity clinic "Born and Raised" will teach expecting #UJM students the ins and outs of childcare.

[University of JM @UniversityofJM]

Students at @UniversityofJM Med School learn how #JohnMayer survived with only half of his heart w/ adjunct anatomy professor Taylor Swift.