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Eva SaintJohn - Overwhelmed and underqualified video game producer working from home.

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It's called "Master submission" to remind developers they are enslaved to the process of making games.

Lab technician- How did you even get in here?

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The publisher just told me the team should be working smarter, not harder. Please learn from his mistake.

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Sitting in this meeting is like watching the Saw movie where the designer has to sacrifice online mode so the game ships on time.

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Producers never really go on vacation. We just organise different people in different places.

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As a producer, my favorite pasttime is having my planning and organisation skills critiqued by team members who rely on me to avoid crunch time.

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I get most of my cardio from moving sprint cards back from 'fixed' to 'claim fixed, needs QA confirmation'.
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I changed the workflow in the Jira bug database to Denial --> Anger --> Bargaining --> Depression --> Accceptance.

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If you look at games development in reverse, you see a disorganised and hagard team regain structured working practices as they slowly break to pieces a perfectly good game.

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Without revealing any spoilers to the junior producers out there, you can experience all nine Circles of Hell in just one sprint planning meeting.

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A downside of working remotely is that I had to explain to a cop doing a wellness check that the blood-curdling screams coming from my home office were caused by watching foogage of a user testing session.

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The publisher and I have our similarities, such as a common interest in releasing the game; and our differences, such as our reactions to the reduced schedule they just handed me.

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I don't have a lot of regrets, but asking the publisher for their thoughts is usually one of them.

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The first day you ignore the typos in the bug report is the day you become a Level 2 producer.

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Over the course of a development cycle, everyone will have their 15 minutes of anxiety.

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And now for my next trick, I will close the Jira bug database 12 milliseconds after opening it.

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Autocorrect just changed “producer jobs” to “No. You’re over 40.” and powered down my computer.

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Someone brought a 40 year old whiskey to my redundancy sending off party and it tastes like I'm gonna tell everyone exactly how I feel.

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No job lasts forever. You either resign a hero or stay long enough to become the scapegoat they make accountable for what didn't work and then fire.

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If you are enjoying a calm, predictable, ramping-things-down, stress-free Friday, congratulations on not being a game developer.

#gamedev #gameproducer #gamedevelopment #indiedev #indiedevs

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If you say 'it works when I do it' one more time, I'm going to clobber you with this femur.
- CroMagnon tester to CroMagnon engineer

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