Jurassic Park Updates

fresh cows needed, corona fucking us all up

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

You don’t need friends, dinosaurs, you only need dinosaurs.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Man I hate this movie 🥺

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Tickets for the park will be expensive this year cos I want nice things.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Cocaine is bad but your moms badder.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Merry Christmas, I hope you’ve all had the year you deserve ❤️

I said what I said.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Dinosaurs can not wear AirPods.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Please don’t give our Dinosaurs Prime drinks, one of them is now growing really bad blonde hair and the other one is trying to fight old men and developing a lisp, you will be escorted out of the park, trash.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

We only hire the worst kind of people.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

The Albino Dinosaur does not like minted Lamb.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Elon, we need some money, bitch.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Halloween is in full swing right now at the park, why not come on down and you might loose a kid or two.. or three, STOP MASS BREEDING NOW.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Our Park is basically like the film Scream except for there’s no big titties and we can’t afford the phone lines anymore.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Due to low funds and recent times half of our dinosaurs are being moved to Russias borders, as always we hope they eat from the outside in.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Due to current times and developments all our pregnant dinos will continue to have no rights when it comes to their eggs, they’re now on the breakfast menu, loophole? Maybe.. Tasty? Very.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

In honour of the Queen on her special day we would like to gift her a croc bag from the gift shop and 5kg of peanut M&M’s x

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

“My dog stepped on a bee”

Imagine seeing an albino T-Rex step on a child ya big wet willy.

HEARSAY!

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Amber Heard is officially banned from the park, sorry but we don’t need no more poop lying around this place.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Due to a shortage of test tubes today we will be making cheese sandwiches and not dinosaurs.

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

The fuckin cavemen have cut through the sewer pipes again as soon as it’s got dark, no one have a shit for at least 3 hours and does anyone have any gorilla glue?

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

We have no money but a lot of meat to sell hmu

[Jurassic Park Updates @UpdatesJurassic]

Send me your Spotify play lists I’m tryna see summin.