Ghetto Hikes

My name is Logan and I lead urban kids on nature hikes. I simply document the funny things they say.

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"If I has 10 bags of Cheetos and a bear steals three, how many does I have?

Trick question, I'da killed that fuckin' bear first."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Jose done poked a baby raccoon eye out 'n' now dat 'coon gone be famous when he grow... Just like my man Fetty Wap"

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

Ain't even gone lie, I would not even look twice if I saw President Putin come round that treeline ridin a bear. That dude the baddest.

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Mr. Logan, if I has a sip from this puddle, am I gonna get Ebola?"

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

Does real bear claws taste as good as the donut kind?

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Now I know poison ivy got 5 leafs, but how many leafs does dope have? That's the plant I'm really interested in out here."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

Is lakes easier to use than pools? Cuz I ain't too good at that whole pool swimmin' thing but that sailboat looks tight as fuck, real talk.

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"My preist say that da rain is just God takin a pee. Does that mean that the Water Cycle should really be called the Jesus Piss Cycle?"

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Mr. Logan, do you got any tips on catching fireflies? I forgot my lighter on da bus and ya boi tryina get high as fuck right 'bout now."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Whoever came up with global warming better make it happens faster. That breeze done turned my tent into an icebox las' night."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Lamborghini Mercy, that deer look so thirsty."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Mr. Logan, now I don't mean no offense, but could you please put that jump rope down? I ain't never gonna trust no white man with a rope."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"I sware that if I see that Swiper fox, ima fuck him up so bad, he ain't never gonna mess with Dora's sweet ass again."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Would it be safe to say that mosquitoes are like mini vampires? Either way, I fuckin' hate that Cullen dude."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Real talk Mr. L, Nature imitates my mom's car freshener smell real good."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Yo Mr. Logan, Can you point me to the nearest dinosaur dig? I need the money to buy a new grill... But not like the kind you cook food on."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"I like my marshmallows to look just like Raul's skin... A nice golden brown."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Those things are called beavers?... Is that like a Justin Beaver?"

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"I don't thinks we has to worry bout no bears tonight. Takisha forgot to bury her turd and lord knows ain't nothing wanna smell that."

[Ghetto Hikes @UrbanHikes]

"Mr. Logan, you best remember that ya boy can't swim real good, so I be very 'preciative if we started walkin' further away from dat lake."