Parm UTD

Man Utd × Real Madrid. Banter only. Soft fans will hate this page.

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

"I prefer to see myself on the training pitch every day" brother you spent all last season on the training pitch and still couldn't organize a defense after spending hundreds of millions. 😭😂

Inherited Klopp’s masterpiece, called himself a Premier League champion, and immediately turned into a complete nightmare when given full control.

Biggest fraud in modern PL history.

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@DeadlineDayLive The media shift is gonna be generational. Watch them go from worshipping his every move at Barca to micro-analyzing his daily life and completely ignoring his actual football. The agenda is already loading. 💀🍿

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@TouchlineX @FabrizioRomano Did absolutely nothing for 6 straight games, scored in the final, and now has PSG offering €55M to save Barca’s finances.

Laporta must be doing backflips right now. 💀😂

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@Lfc_samie I see only 33 minutes of Premier League football. 😂

One sharp turn against Premier League wingers and his hamstrings are gonna need flex tape and a miracle to hold together. 😂🍿

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@SamueILFC The post looks great, just a minor change: The second biggest club in Merseyside behind Everton! 😂

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@LFC_Tandy Bro already challenging the medical staff of Liverpool. Get me fit me if you can! 😂

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

Praying for my Colombian brothers and sisters! No matter what club we support, we must come together for dedicate a prayer for our Colombian brothers and sisters.

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

What he actually meant:

"I can’t wait to get started on the rehab table. I’m very, very happy.

I’m excited to be here at this massive hospital with lots of injury history. I’m excited to meet my physios, excited to get started on the MRI scans, and I’m very motivated to see how fast their ice packs work.

I think it was the ideal move for my hamstrings at this stage in my career. As soon as I heard Liverpool had top-tier medical facilities, everything went into action really quickly. I’m super happy to be here and can’t wait for my first 6-week layoff." 😭💀

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@LFC Signing Araujo on loan just to keep the club doctors employed is crazy work. 😭💀

They’re gonna need an entire department just for tape and plasters. Man’s gonna spend more time on the treatment table than on the pitch. 😂🍿

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@FabrizioRomano Sold Isak, Guimarães, Tonali, and Gordon, watched Eddie Howe walk out the door, and now getting rejected by Højbjerg after matching the fee. Newcastle is officially a comedy club again. 😭💀

#NUFC at the start of transfer window vs at the end:

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@utd_elius One injury will hit like a crack, just like old times.

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@Blue_Footy @ChelseaFC Only to get injured again! 😂

Bros been out more times than he has been in.

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@goalsside @FootballFanCast Failing? Dude, INEOS aren't even trying to sign players. They started with this whole hype about bringing in guys who actually play for the badge, but now it’s clear the agenda is just finding whoever’s cheap or has a convenient release clause hidden away. 😭😂

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

Bragging about other teams dropping points in pre-season just to turn around and concede 7 goals in two games against Leeds and Monaco is INSANE work. 😭😂

They thought they were winning the league in July. Life really comes at you fast. Liverpool fans taking Ls on and off the pitch as usual. 💀

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

Chelsea spending €1B+ on children, hiring Xabi Alonso to play 3-4-3, and then almost losing to JDT in pre-season is crazy. 😂

The endless cycle of "trust the process" before a mid-table reset in November is so back. You can change the manager every 6 months, but the comedy show never stops. 🍿

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

Honestly, if Barca actually comes in for Rashford, INEOS really need to look into making it happen. The level of hate and toxicity being thrown his way before the season has even started is just crazy, and there’s no way that kind of constant negativity doesn't mess with a player's head and confidence before a ball is even kicked.

A move to Spain honestly feels like the best outcome for everyone at this point:

For Rashford: He gets completely out of the British media pressure cooker and gets a fresh start somewhere he can just focus on playing football without every single gesture or match being micro-analyzed.

For Barca: They get a fast, explosive forward with high-level experience who can completely stretch defenses and give them a lethal option out wide or through the middle.

For United & INEOS: INEOS have to look at the big picture and protect both the club and the player. Holding onto someone who’s constantly targeted by media and fans just creates a toxic loop. Getting his wages off the books and letting him move on lets United reset cleanly and reinvest where needed.

Keeping him in an environment where everyone is already on his back before matchday one isn't doing anyone any favors. A move to Catalonia would be a massive breath of fresh air for all parties.

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

Santos and Tielemans both looked sharp yesterday.

One already reading the game at 22, the other walked on and controlled the tempo like he’d been here for years.

Proper midfielders.

Still doesn’t change the fact we’ve only signed two in a window where we needed three. Depth is still thin and everyone can see it.

Bare minimum from INEOS again.

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@FabrizioRomano Chelsea shipping another one out and the dressing room still looking like a primary school playground at lunchtime 😂 how many more kids they got in there?

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@DeadlineDayLive Barcelona spent years letting de Jong dictate terms, reject moves, and manage his body how he wanted.

Now they’re shocked the same player won’t just fall in line for surgery.

You created this culture. Deal with it.

[Parm UTD @UtdParm]

@ChelseaFC Let’s go” energy every summer.

How many managers and “new projects” has it been now? The cycle of hype then reset is impressive at this point.😂