I just saw snippet of the honest bunch podcast.
The topic is traditional woman vs feminism.
From what I saw, the podcast will be an interesting one.
One feminist said she's on birth control pills.
Then the traditional woman asked her:
"Have you given birth?"
She said "no"
"Heyyyy lorrrrrdddd!!!"
The traditional woman screamed.
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
AJD.
Young legitimate people between 25 and 35 in Nigeria are not against marriage in the real sense of it.
Most still want it.
They are just scared of what it costs right now.
Money, peace of mind, and the risk of building something that collapses under pressure.
Money comes up first.
Rent in Lagos, Abuja or Port Harcourt is brutal. A place that used to go for 400–500k can now cost 800k to over a million, before furniture or generator.
Food and transport keep rising.
Someone earning 150k to 300k already feels stretched. Marriage means housing two people (and later children) under one roof, plus the expectation that the man carries the bigger share.
Many look at their balance after rent and transport and say “not yet.” They have watched relatives struggle and get disrespected at home over money.
They do not want the same life.
Weddings make it worse. A “normal” wedding families will accept now easily runs into several millions once you add traditional lists, aso-ebi, hall, catering and photography.
Some bride lists alone are frightening.
People borrow heavily or sell land just to meet expectations, then start marriage life in debt.
Couples who need each other still postpone because they do not want the first years spent paying loans.
Social media has turned the celebration into a competition that can leave you broke.
Housing is its own problem.
You can have a solid relationship and still not marry if you cannot find a place both of you can afford without one person living with parents forever.
Culture adds weight.
Marriage is rarely just between two people.
In-laws come with expectations.
The man is still expected to be the main provider even when the woman earns as much or more.
That pressure meets a weak economy and many men feel set up to fail. Some women worry they will do most of the emotional and domestic work while also contributing money.
They have watched their mothers manage households under stress and are not rushing into the same arrangement.
Trust is thinner.
Many have already been through relationships that ended badly due to cheating, greed, lack of patience and foresight, and extreme violence and deceits.
They enter the next one already guarding themselves.
Talking stages drag on because commitment feels risky.
Divorce is more visible now. People see couples who did the big wedding and still split after a few years over money or growing apart.
That makes the permanent nature of marriage feel less safe.
There is also a quieter shift. A lot of young Nigerians want to sort their own lives first; career, some savings, mental space before adding someone else’s needs and family expectations.
The old script of finishing school, getting any job and marrying by 25–28 no longer matches underemployment and rising costs.
Some women would rather stay single longer than settle for a partnership that drains them. Some men feel the bar has moved so high that they would rather avoid the process.
People in that age bracket still get married every year.
But the difference is the caution. They are asking harder questions like:
Can we afford a place?
What happens if one of us loses a job?
Are we clear on money, children and in-laws?
The fear comes from the economy, the cost of the ceremony, the weight of expectations, and enough broken marriages around them.
Until those things ease, many 25- to 35-year-olds will keep choosing to wait.
That does not make them unserious. It just means they are paying more attention and probably feeling "woke".
End.
A man is searching for his biological father.
Please read what he said below:👇
I have never seen my father since I had sense. I’m really looking for him.
I’ve checked online already.
This is the story my mum told me. His name is Samuel Oluwafemi Alabi. He came to Gusau in Zamfara State to work.
He was a contractor with Julius Berger. They posted him to Gusau and that was how they met.
They started dating and she got pregnant for him – that’s me. He told her he would marry her when he settled down and he even met her sisters.
Later he finished his work and said he was going back to his base in Suleja, Niger State.
It seems he works in Abuja but stays in Suleja. My mum said he used to come and visit on and off until I was around two years old. After that she stopped seeing him. No phone number or anything to reach him.
She said that was how she travelled all the way from Gusau to Suleja to look for him. When she got there, a woman that sells akara around his area told her where he stays.
She went there and met a woman. Literally my father was already married to another woman and had been lying all this while.
She left the house because he had gone to work that day so she didn’t see him. That was how she left Gusau and relocated to another state in the North.
Please, the reason I’m sharing this is that she doesn’t even have a picture of him. This is all the details I know about my father.
I don’t know where he is or how I can locate him. I don’t know if you can post it on your platform. Maybe he might see it.
I just don’t know what to do.
Sir, I am 35 year old and I don't know where my father is, or who my father is and it really affecting me.
AJD.
Last night, I told us that a man must take the glory and blame for his decision to choose his wife.
You read that she said that "she's not forcing any man to marry her", correct?
That's what I also meant when I said that a woman will always blame her husband for choosing to marry her.
Even if she knows that she's a bad wife.
Again, a man chooses.
A woman selects.
I have advised him to call off the wedding and find a way to retrieve his funds.
She's not ready to become a wife yet, even at age 30.
AJD.
It appears that most of you that are following me on this back up are the most active ones on the main page.
Because I have not really seen much difference in engagement in terms of comments, likes & reposts.
The only major difference is in the impression numbers.
Thank you🙏.
Omo, some men can sabi lie because of puna ooo.
A young lady met a 38-year-old guy back in her uni days. He later moved to Germany.
Nothing ever happened between them, but he kept leading her on and insisting he was a virgin.
Then one day he casually mentioned his 4-year-old daughter.
She said, "Virgin? You told me you were a virgin."
The man started begging. Said he is celibate now. Said she should forgive him.
One year later, his elder sister messaged her.
Brother is a father of 4.
Including a set of twins.
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
AJD.
A man in his 30s is supposed to marry this December.
Courtship wasn’t even long. He met her, told her straight he was taking her serious, and also told her about his finances.
He made an investment last year that didn’t work out, so he gave her his limit for the wedding. She said she was cool with it.
After he introduced her to his family and both families met, the thing changed.
When introduction was coming, she added her own list. Money for herself, for both parents, uncle, and the rest.
He was surprised. At the end, those things were not even part of what was required for a mere introduction.
Wedding preparation plans is even worse.
Everything she was going for was way above what he already told her, and it would push the cost up seriously.
Any time he tried to bring it down, she got angry. She would say she’s not forcing herself on a man, and asked him " if this is the man she wants to introduce to her generation as husband?"
Because she refused to cut cost, he relaxed and stopped releasing money for the wedding.
She didn’t even flinch.
Time was going. His siblings started calling to ask what was wrong.
He told them nothing.
Whenever they asked her, she would tell them to call him. She never told them it was about the cost.
Now that it’s obvious time is going, she says she’s ready to manage the budget.
He doesn’t believe it’s genuine. He has already made it clear he’s ready to walk away.
Both families know each other.
His own people have told him whatever he decides, they’ll support him.
She’ll be 30 next month. She’s not seriously working or doing business, so he’ll be the one to set her up.
He has even given her money already to deposit for some things.
His mind is just off.
He doesn’t want to do it out of pity for what the her parents will say, and he doesn’t want to enter a marriage hoping she’ll change.
Should he call off the wedding or not?
The floor is open.
AJD.
When my lovely wife got her first job before I married her, she came to me to show me her offer letter.
When she got paid her first salary, she withdrew the entire money (cash) and brought it to see me.
I was not yet her husband, but she gave me that honor.
I don't want to project my relationship life and experiences or marriage on anyone.
But as man, I know how what she did made me felt.
And I am not sure that there is any man that wouldn't want to experience such from his woman.
Which is why I have told this story more than once to you all.
I have also repeatedly said that:
In marriage, a wife owes her husband financial accountability and the husband owes his wife financial transparency.
This is so because the man is expected to be the major spender and the woman is expected to be the one who will manage those finances and use and spend them optimally.
So when you're dating or about to marry a woman that is shady with her finances, what do you think you're likely to experience?
As long as during the relationship, you as a man has never tried to take undue advantage of her kindness or accountability, then I see no reasons why she should not be open to you about what she earns.
Especially someone that you're about to marry as a wife.
Or perhaps, you as a man have not been completely open about what you do and how you make money.
Because a woman needs to know if you're capable of handling financial responsibilities as well.
Anyways, I'll not advise him to pause on the wedding plans because of that.
Because in the real sense, a man should be the main provider, and pay less attention to his woman's money.
However, he needs to set the records straight, and pose so subtle threats.
And then, he let's her know that this marriage that both of them are about to enter, she should prepare herself to remaining in the dark about his finances going forward.
If that will make her have a rethink.
AJD.
A man just slid into my DM with this one.
E no greet me, but make I bone that one.
He said his wedding is a few weeks away.
His wife-to-be hides her income. To the point that when he tried to check, she deleted her alert.
She keeps giving him different figures.
And she even forgets the one she already told him before.
Meanwhile, he tells her everything.
Now he’s asking what a guy in that position should do.
So I’m throwing it to una.
If you have a few weeks to your wedding, and your wife-to-be is hiding her income, deleting alerts, and giving you different figures, while you are open with yours…
What should the guy do?
AJD.
A man moved to the UK as a student in 2024 and has been living with his sister since he arrived. That arrangement kept his costs low.
He now works full time and saves about £1,500 a month.
His visa clock is running.
He has until January 2028 to find a sponsored job or leave the country, and sponsorship has become very hard to get.
Recently he met a UK citizen, originally from Nigeria. She is a single mother of one.
She has suggested he moves in with her, and she often talks about marriage and having another child.
When they sat down to talk money, she was clear: she will not split costs 50/50. She expects him to carry most of the financial load, and she said that is the only way she can respect him.
Once they ran the numbers, his monthly savings would fall from £1,500 to about £300.
He is 39. He already has two children in Nigeria from a previous marriage that ended because of infidelity.
At this stage, he says financial freedom matters more to him than marriage.
So he is stuck between two paths:
1. Stay with his sister, keep saving £1,500 a month, and accept that he may have to leave in January 2028 with roughly £35,000.
2. Or move in with the single mother, and possibly marry, and watch most of that saving power disappear.
Those are the choices in front of him.
I believe you all know what my possible advise to him will be.
So let me keep quiet and allow you all do the advise.
The floor is open.
AJD.
A man has been cohabiting with his girlfriend for about two years, and things were fine until his younger sister came to visit and has stayed for three weeks.
Since then, his girlfriend has been complaining about almost everything.
She asked his sister to help her cook a few times. He told her to stop, because they already have a maid and he did not think it was right to assign chores to a guest.
She said he was siding with his sister, and that she was not in the house to be a slave. She also keeps saying she does not like people in her space.
His sister is 29.
His girlfriend is 27.
He had been planning their introduction for next year, and now he is wondering if this is serious enough to reconsider.
That's his complaint.
Let just say a few things before I open the floor for everyone to contribute:
It is serious enough to pause the introduction.
A three-week visit should not turn the house into a daily fight.
Telling her not to send a guest to cook was a reasonable boundary, and not you choosing your sister over her.
Her discomfort with people in her space is fair if she was not properly told first, before the visit.
Turning that into "you are siding with her" and "I am not a slave" is the part worth watching.
Relatives will visit from time to time.
And quite frankly, I am not pleased with your girlfriend's choice of words and attitude towards your sister (who is even her elder).
Your planned introduction will not fix this.
If I were you, I'll ask my girlfriend to leave my house, after my sister leaves.
But your sister is not a fool.
And do not expect her not to relay her experience in your house to your other siblings and parents.
Let the visit end, you'll see that the resentment will leave with your sister.
Your girlfriend doesn't have respect for your people.
One bad three weeks is a warning.
A pattern is an answer.
AJD.
The man who slept with his best friend’s fiancée has finally faced them.
His friend just got back from Europe.
He didn’t hide.
He didn’t run first.
He went to the father’s house and asked to sit with both of them.
He apologised.
Thanked them for years of treating him like family. Then he put the messages and the recordings on the table.
They listened.
They understood what had happened between him and his best friend's fiancée.
His friend lost it and lunged at him.
He didn’t fight back.
The father and the staff pulled them apart.
He told his friend he wasn’t expecting forgiveness and that he would leave the company. He also said he wanted him to know the whole truth, and what kind of woman she had shown herself to be.
Then he knelt and asked the father for forgiveness. He told the old man that he had treated him like a second son, and he had repaid that by stabbing his only son in the back.
The father listened, then told him to leave his house.
He left without another word.
After that, he has decided to change his number and decided to leave the country to start all over.
When he told his mother she broke down. She still blessed him and said she would pray for him, and that he needed to seek God’s mercy for what he had done.
That last part hit him harder than the punch that never landed.
Not just because he betrayed a friend, he also broke the trust of a man who raised him like his own son.
He came to me and I advised him.
He took the advice and he went and faced them like a man.
He showed the evidence.
He didn’t fight back.
He left the house when he was told to leave. Now he has to pack his life and move on.
That’s how you carry shame.
You don’t argue it.
You don’t dress it.
You own it, learn from it, face the consequences and keep moving.
AJD.
Àgbàfians, a quick one.
If you want to subscribe to my page, please do it through https://t.co/IgMJUx5pfl in your browser (Chrome, Safari, any one), not the X app.
Open my profile there and tap Subscribe. It's the best way to support the page directly.
Thank you for always standing with me.
End.
This is the advice I gave the guy who slept with his best friend’s fiancée, and his replies.
Me: Let me advise you. Wait until your friend returns, then go to their house to meet with his father and him.
Tell them that you're sorry for what happened but that the girl is not who she claims to be.
And that you're not using it as an excuse, but you want to come clean.
And that even though you know you have ruined the friendship and love that his family showed you, you had to get those evidence because you cannot wish for your friend to marry that girl.
Play the evidences to them. Then tell them that you have resigned and walking away, because you have broken their trust.
Kneel before his father and apologise very well.
Him: All right, understood... Thank you for your profound wisdom; I will follow your advice to the letter.
Me: Apologise to your best friend and tell him that you don't expect him to forgive you, but you'll walk away. And you would not like your presence to be reminding him of his pain and your betrayal.
Him: You mean I kneel to my friend's father?
Me: Yes.
Him: Okay, understood.
Me: If your friend reacts violently, do not react. Just walk away.
Him: Yes, he's very impulsive when it comes to that. Okay, understood.
Me: Thank them for all they did for you and let them know that you have also confessed to your mother. Then you can come and tell me how everything played out after you have done this.
Him: There's one thing I never understood about him, and I never dared to tell him, but despite his social status, he rarely kept women around for long; most of the time, they ended up leaving him.
Me: I wish you well.
Him: Thank you for your valuable advice; may God bless you.
Me: As for the girl, do not contact her ever again. Block her and if she calls you, do not pick. And then, do not let anyone know where you'd be moving to, or where your new place of work is.
Him: Yeah, anyway, I plan to change my number after telling them the truth.
Me: And keep a low profile on social media.
Him: Okay, understood.
Me: Very good.
Him: Thanks again for your advice.
That's it.
Now, let's wait for the next update when he finally carries out my advise.
End.