🌸

[Rackelll @EhhhRackelll]

BMI is so inconsiderate doesn’t take account for big titty committees

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

It’s hilarious how wipe brands confidently market their wipes as flushable, while every plumber will tell you that no such thing actually exists.

[mena @zcahverse]

Pq a gente paga taxa pra cancelar o Uber e o motorista pode cancelar sem a gente receber taxa tbm????

[𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐢✰ @_timiszn]

i think we should bring back the concept of waking up on weekends and watching cartoons first thing in the morning.

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Does anyone else love having a full day at home doing absolutely nothing, with no visitors and no plans?

[sammm ☆ @onlysammms]

it always feels like i'm bringing a little too much boob to any given situation

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

I finally realized why I like Twitter so much. It has NO SOUND. 🔇 No screaming TikTok audios, no random music, no sensory overload. Just text. My overstimulated ADHD brain can finally breathe here.

[Wrought @wroughttt]

Decided to get a water pick to try and improve my oral hygiene. Tried it out tonight. Shot a jet of water straight into the back of my throat, triggered my gag reflex, projectile vomited into my sink. Moral of the story is never fucking bother with anything

[Daniel @growing_daniel]

if that SMS code doesn't show up in five seconds then its never coming. Move on with your life

[leti @Letangmohlala]

Starving yourself because you're still deciding on what to eat is a real thing 😭

[☔ @Whotfismick]

how it feels pretending to agree with people so they stop talking

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no, i shut it off and back on again. why are you still here?

[⚡︎ @_sorrengailll]

what’s even the point of iPhone letting you edit a message if it still shows the other person you edited it lol

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

I just helped a 94 year old dude figure out how to use his card at the gas pump. First off my dawg we need to get you off the road

[yimika| @yimikaaaa]

People who complain about EVERYTHING are exhausting. Like damn, is there anything in this life that brings you joy?arghhhhhhhh

[MrBlack™ @KE_MrBlack]

Gynaecologists giving you privacy to undress is the most pointless professional courtesy😂

[PAYWALLMEN.COM @ICONOCLASTIAE]

Hating men is the only way to get a good man. If you like men you’ll tolerate anything, if you hate them, only the best will be good enough.

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

It's not a "Juliet Balcony". It's a metal gate to stop you falling out your house.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

I love how delusional some clothing descriptions are. You read the tag and it’s like, “Hand wash only. Tumble dry on low.” Son, you’re a cotton T shirt. You’re going in the washing machine, and whatever happens in there is in God’s hands.