Roman Torchwick

Lying, stealing, cheating, and surviving

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐧,

ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴏɴᴇ

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐬

ᴏʀ ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇꜱ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞.

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

"Salem? More like sailin! This yacht! That I stole!

Heh, I'm hilarious.
Anyway, what's up, Remnant. Ya miss me~?"

[M1das @M1das_OW2]

you publicly said you messaged minors to own a journalist?

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@IceCreamPetite //It's like he showered right before his mugshot was taken, and then literally never again.

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

No :)

[General James Ironwood? (Atlas Rebuild Event) @GenIronwood]

Whoever rigged the PA system to play Rocky Horror picture show songs will pay dearly.

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@charlatanswan "There's a bank round the corner that Neo's scoping right now. Gimme ten minutes and you could afford to lay low another few months.

If you're interested~"

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

"New year's resolution?

Get more money."

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@charlatanswan "What about you? Got any great and dastardly plans planned?"

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@charlatanswan "It's never too late to resolve to become richer, Duckling."

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@charlatanswan " 'Course not, Duckling."
He flashes her his winning smile. The smile that got a small mute girl to trust him after years of her parents' abuse. The one that convinced a news reporter to interview him despite her superiors' wishes.

"They didn't have to. *Everybody* loves me."

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

"New year, new me.

So I suppose I best do as much Old Me stuff before that day...

Where's the nearest bank?"

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@charlatanswan He leads the way, grinning like a child being told they can stay up past their bedtime.
"Well, I was thinking..."
He twirls Melodic Cudgel round casually and tests the sights.
"We walk in and I ask very nicely. And 'cos they love me in there, they give me lots and lots of money."

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@charlatanswan "Busy as a career criminal can be, darling."

He swings Melodic Cudgel around on his wrist, before proffering his arm.
"Shall we?"

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@charlatanswan "That depends, Duckling. Any news crews around here?

...

Care to join me on a lil quick jaunt to make a withdrawal?"

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

In fact, it's most fun when they do.
That being said, Miss Lavender is always so sweet when I give interviews.

[ᵢ wₒₙ'ₜ bₐcₖ dₒwₙ, ᵢ wᵢₗₗ ₙₒₜ bₒw @project5HAD0W]

⠀

⠀I was referring to other other me, but keep on going.

⠀It's no fun if they don't hate us.

⠀

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

Please

It's an artform

[ᵢ wₒₙ'ₜ bₐcₖ dₒwₙ, ᵢ wᵢₗₗ ₙₒₜ bₒw @project5HAD0W]

⠀

⠀Damn, other me must really be pissing people off, huh?

⠀

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

"You got nabbed by the rozzers?
I really am the most competent me in the multiverse, aren't I?"

[ᵢ wₒₙ'ₜ bₐcₖ dₒwₙ, ᵢ wᵢₗₗ ₙₒₜ bₒw @project5HAD0W]

⠀

⠀"Oh, of course I'd go and end up one-upping myself."

⠀"At least when the Vale police took my stash, they left a bit."

⠀"So money was made."

⠀

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

Maybe YOU didn't use it.

I took Neo on a petty robbery spree. Best week of our lives.

[ᵢ wₒₙ'ₜ bₐcₖ dₒwₙ, ᵢ wᵢₗₗ ₙₒₜ bₒw @project5HAD0W]

⠀

⠀"Remember that time I stole every speck of dust in Vale for Cinder's plan, and we ended up not using it?"

⠀"Good times."

⠀

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@IceCreamPetite "I'm glad you haven't changed, Pips."
He leans his head back against her, and grins.
"Where to next on our grand reunion tour?"

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

"Neo's back in town?"

[Roman Torchwick @ValesVillain]

@IceCreamPetite "You know you love me."
He sways gently, tipping her left and right as he walks, until he stops aside an ice cream truck.
"Strawbanana for the shoulderkind, a neapolitan for myself."
He puts far too much lien on the desk.