Valorie Baerlocher

U look lost follow me #TeamUnfollowBack #TeamFollowBack #TeamUK #TeamBB #TeamGH #TeamGod #TeamstopGlobalWarming

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

Plot twist: The stadium goes completely dark and Squidward's band rises from beneath the field in a dome completely engulfed in flames.

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

Fake tan. Fake boobs. Fake nails. Fake hair. Tell us again how you want a real man. I'm so very interested.

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

I told my dad I stopped raising hell and he called me a quitter!

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

I'd rather be weird as fuck than boring as hell.

[Coast to Coast AM @coasttocoastam]

News segment guests: Cathryn Switzer http://t.co/0HwYpbECna / Steve Kates http://t.co/egX7LEUE1Q

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

The higher the heel, the better you feel.

[NO MORE BULLSHIT @BestDamnPicks]

Me: I'm tired, I need to sleep. Internet: "Bitch Please!"

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

When I text someone and they don't text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.

[ALTERNATIVE FACT® @AlternativeFact]

http://t.co/K4IpN9J9gO

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

"Just because you can't dance, doesn't mean you shouldn't dance" -Alcohol

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

I'm not saying she's a hoe, but she's been on more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

Everyone's middle name should be "motherfuckin" ...try it. Doesn't it sound just perfect?

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

She's the kind of girl who makes you love your name just because she says it.

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

I always wanna fall asleep in class.

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

I miss having you to talk to whenever i wanted.

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

By you telling me you're unfollowing me, is like an ugly bitch going to the club saying "I'm not dancing with no one" NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

I threw a bitch in the well, don’t ask me I’ll never tell. I looked away as she fell, dumb hoe was in my way.

[Valorie Baerlocher @ValorieBaerloch]

I go for a run everyday....... on Temple Run!

[Say It Like It Is @pokertime1]

Slow Wi-Fi is worse than no Wi-Fi at all.