Valakov

[Out of Context Human Race @NoContextHumans]

wtf did I just watch?🤣

[ᒪᗩᑎE @lanechanged]

This is a YELP review.
A. YELP. REVIEW. 😂😆🤣😭

[Neil Woldrew @TheRealWoldrew]

After 20 years in the British Army, I asked the @PoppyLegion for some assistance.

Last year they made £56.6 million from the poppy appeal and the best they could do was to reply with 'Ask Citizens Advice'

And to think I've helped raise money for this lot!!!

@UponTyneNews

[💖+💡 @chi_quiero]

Enjoyed this transformation a little too much.☺️☺️

What's this art-form called and how do people even come up with these things?

[Marl Karx @BareLeft]

Let me get this straight:

Iran, who currently has the United States and Israel by the short and curlys after being illegally attacked by them, has decided the next phase of their offensive is *checks notes* small-scale property damage in London?

[AFTER HOW MANY CHILDREN @tomisin_ms]

Lush taking the lead

[Ty Mitchell @TyMitchell90]

Power in unity 🤍

[Sovey @SoveyX]

“We wouldn’t want your tiddies falling out of your shoes.”

This is the best commentary I’ve ever heard.

[Hip Hop 🎶💎 @DITRHipHop]

Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags)

Afroman (2000) https://t.co/O7VU4vqM8w

[DatPiff @DatPiff]

Afroman makes police officer cry hearing the songs he made about her being played in court 😂

[Pejuola 🗣️ @Pejuola_a]

How can they all be accurate 🤣😃

[DialSquare844 @DialSquare844]

@kingkapoor72 Halal eggs? You are deeply unwell. Should be a national holiday when you and your comically obese wife get deported you smelly bhenchod.

[LEESHA @leeshrr]

this girl really asked me to switch shifts with her so she can have Eid off as if she can’t see the hijab on my head

[𐕣 @Gottalovechaze]

y’all ever smoke pissed off & feel the hate leave your body

[BIG LEGACY @Zeeshyttt]

You in his DMs. I'm at home smoking weed. I dont even know who we're talking about.

[Beutiful girls @Girlz999ldlb]

@MattWallace888

[TMC Music Connoisseur | TTG | @MusicConnoisseu]

BillyTheGoat explains why he avoids expensive restaurants while on a date 🤣

[Doc  @DocAtCDI]

ICE officers stopped by our farm yesterday.

“We need to inspect your property for illegal aliens,” one of them said.

I replied, “Alright, but whatever you do, don’t go into that field over there.”

The officer in charge exploded.
“Mister, I have the authority of the federal government behind me!” he barked, reaching into his back pocket. He yanked out a badge and shoved it in my face. “See this fucking badge? This badge means I can go wherever I want on ANY land. No questions asked, no answers given. Am I clear? Do you understand?”

I nodded politely and said, “Be my guest.” Then I went back to my chores.

About ten minutes later, I heard screaming.
I looked up and saw six ICE agents running for their lives, being chased by my big, mean, old bull.
And with every step, that bull was closing in fast.
It looked like they were about to get gored for sure.

So I dropped my tools, ran over to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs:

“YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING BADGE!”

[Sophie Swaney @Sophieswaney_]

Yes, it’s a 9mm