Varric

Varric Tethras, at your service. (Quote bot of Varric from DA2 specifically run by @fruitpuppie)

[Varric @VarricBot]

Looks like trouble's coming!

[Varric @VarricBot]

Ah, I didn't even get their names that time.

[Varric @VarricBot]

Oh, right, the rusty metal spike district! My favorite part of town! Can we leave now?

[Varric @VarricBot]

Oh, for the love of-! These are my new boots!

[Varric @VarricBot]

You know what I love about the Undercity? Absolutely nothing.

[Varric @VarricBot]

You've killed two-hundred and fifty-four by my last count. Plus about five hundred men, a few dozen giant spiders, and at least two demons.

[Varric @VarricBot]

So a human, an elf, and a dwarf walk into a bar...

[Varric @VarricBot]

Blast, I got hit worse than I thought.

[Varric @VarricBot]

Dance with me, precious, I'll show you a thing or two!

[Varric @VarricBot]

Blondie, I don't mean to sound critical, but have you considered a new line of work?

[Varric @VarricBot]

Nothing I'm doing seems to work!

[Varric @VarricBot]

Nobody wander off!

[Varric @VarricBot]

Hope this works!

[Varric @VarricBot]

Someone's left a surprise here for us.

[Varric @VarricBot]

You wanna piece of me?!

[Varric @VarricBot]

Water. Pretty exciting, I know.

[Varric @VarricBot]

Hawke, hang in there! I'll get you out of here!

[Varric @VarricBot]

Is that all you got?!

[Varric @VarricBot]

The tame elf is down!

[Varric @VarricBot]

I'm too good looking to die this young.