Vaslav Nijinsky

The Diary of Vaslav Nijinsky being tweeted in its entirety.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

God commanded me again to remain in the snow. I lay there for a long time. I did not feel the cold, and then God commanded me to get up. I got up. He said I could go back. I went back. He said, "Stop!" I stopped.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

God was pleased and ordered me to go back, but after a few steps he ordered me to lie down again in the snow next to the tree. I caught hold of the tree and lay down, falling slowly back.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

He ordered me to lie for a long time. I lay there till my hand felt cold. My hand began to freeze. I pulled back my hand, saying that this was not God, because my hand ached.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

On the road I again saw the trail of blood, but I no longer believed it. God showed me this trail so that I would feel him. I felt him and went back. He told me to lie down on the snow. I lay down.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

God said to me, "Go home and tell your wife that you are mad." I realized that God wished me well, and therefore I went home with the intention of breaking this news to her.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I let go of the branch, but did not fall.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I held on for a long time, but after a while I became afraid. God told me that I would fall if I let go of this branch.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

That amazed me, and I thought it was a miracle. God wanted to test me. I understood Him and therefore wanted to disentangle myself, but he did not allow me to.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I was afraid, but after standing for a while, I felt a force that was drawing me in the direction of the abyss. I went to the abyss and then fell down, but was caught in the branches of a tree, which I had not noticed.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I thought that the devil was tempting me just as he tempted Christ when He was on the mountain, saying, "Jump down, and I will believe in you."

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

Then God forced me to go in the direction of the abyss, saying that a man was hanging there and had to be saved. I was afraid.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I then felt that it was God who was checking to see whether I was afraid of him or not. I said aloud, "No, I am not afraid of God, because he is life and not death."

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I was afraid that people had buried a man in the snow because they had beaten him to death with sticks. I was afraid and ran back. I know people who are afraid. I am not afraid, and therefore I came back.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I want to describe my walks. When I was walking along the snow, I saw a ski trail that stopped in front of the trail of blood.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I do not know any other expression and am therefore writing down this expression. I want to force myself to learn every expression, but I dislike wasting time.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I realized that the trail was not blood, but piss.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I was afraid, but I went in the direction of the abyss.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I went out for a walk once, and it seemed to me that there was blood on the snow, and so I ran, following the trail. I had the impression that somebody had killed a man, but he was alive, and so I ran in another direction and saw a large trail of blood.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

I am standing in front of a precipice into which I may fall, but I am not afraid to fall, because He understands me whenever I fall.

[Vaslav Nijinsky @VaslavNijinsky]

She obeys me. I obey her. She will understand me if others say everything I do is good.