Venting Waiter

A #Waiter Not A F**king #Server #DontQuoteMe We Got A Lifer Here.

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Most days is just me hoping and wishing to myself that the first 12 people through the door ask me if we're open. #WaiterLife #OpenDoorPolicy

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

What is it? Did everyone collectively decide they're going to split every entree and tip like shit?

#GTFOH #SplitADick

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Please Restaurant Gods bestow upon me the ABILITY TO NOT CARE

#WaiterLife

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Ever heard somebody complain that wherever they go they get forgotten about and bad service?
Do you think for a moment they ever stop to think that maybe they're just forgettable? 🤷‍♂️

#WaiterLife

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

I purposely tripped someone today.

This
Is
The
Year
#WaiterLife #FarewellTour #Lifer

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

I wish this woman understood how much I cannot tolerate her face.

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Fun new game.

Instead of saying sorry about whatever it is you're going to do anyway, how about turning that sorry into an additional 1% towards tip?

#WaiterLife

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Funny. The lady sitting here for the last 20 minutes, still with hat & jacket on who was self-proclaimed "not hungry in the least" just dislodged her jaw and swallowed the whole basket with the bread in it, a new born and a few Christmas ornaments.

That's the spirit lady

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Yummmm.... Y'all smell that? That's not defeat..... Oh no that's just the salad guys colon.

#WaiterLife

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

This mask is really cramping my ability to snag a few fries, nonchalantly from the window.

#WaiterLife #ServerProbs

[Nicole Foti @NicoleFoti]

@VentingWaiter Waiting tables post quarantine! https://t.co/vpdPqrj7FP

[Nicole Foti @NicoleFoti]

@VentingWaiter Tips for going out to eat during a global health pandemic that all the Karens need to hear...https://t.co/76CNOKUOpB

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Ain't nothing like that 10 minutes before I open the door, espresso, smoke and maybe some Bill Withers. My 10 minutes of Zen before its WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME!

#WaiterLife #ServerProbs

[bitchybartender @basicbartender_]

@VentingWaiter Oh we’re in a pandemic? He’s 10%.

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Saturday Vibes. GTFOH

#WaiterLife #ServerProbs

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

You can sit on my front steps all you want but you better believe I'm not opening up that door until 12

#WaiterLife

*good to be back

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

@Kclemens11 always brother, just got those feels as I shut the last light. Hope that beautiful family is well, let's catch a Yankees game when they start playing. ✌️😎

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Everything had to be shut down today by 8 p.m. 10 years I've been here good and bad, doubles and singles. Tonight is the night I have to walk out and everything may not be the same. Finding it really hard to leave right now. Stay safe and get back to work soon❤️

#WaiterLife

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Hi, are you open today?

(Wrong answers only)

[Venting Waiter @VentingWaiter]

Had a table this afternoon address me as "Waiter" for the entire meal. In the eleventh hour 3 minutes shy of putting their jackets on; the lady who was cackling my profession choice as a name finally asks my name. My reply:

Waiter, Waiter White 🤣🤣🤣

#WaiterLife #FakingBad