Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️

Internet has-been. Greedy bisexual. Occasional funny person. Views are Kris Jenner’s.

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

When you’re texting a dude and he seems into the convo, initiating, asking questions, but takes like 25 minutes to respond to you each time and you’re like WTF DOES THIS MEAN WHAT ARE THESE GAMES?

They’re video games. He’s texting you in between rounds of video games.

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

Elmo?!

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

I love my child more than anything. I would lay down my life for him. But I would not give him the best bite. The next bite? Sure. As many bites as he wants in fact. But the BEST bite? That’s mine.

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

@lionesspike ✨mark is hot ✨ helly’s hot ✨ Gemma’s hot ✨

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

I’ll drop just one feed a day at 9 months.

8 months and 26 days:

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

please @nbcsnl, i need a severance sketch with adam scott and tig as an innie and outie having a fight with each other

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

Respectful parenting is wild bc on one hand, my kids will learn empathy bc they’re being *taught* empathy, and not bc it’s their responsibility to emotionally regulate their mother, but on the flip, they won’t have enough trauma to make them funny, so I’m not sure it’s worth it.

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

Chili sun, Bandit moon, Muffin rising

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

new and improved! the same 2am “you up?” text, but this time with a crying baby to another mom who may or may not answer you from the void

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

@RebeccaAusten11 @Stridewalker1 @justin_hart @DrAllyLouks brilliant distinction

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

when i offer my baby my lower producing breast and he pulls off, crying, until i give him the higher producer

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

@taylorprice8 no, it’s aimed at the baby

[New Jersey @NJGov]

you called?

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

what i feel like i’m doing to my baby if I lay him down on the bed but haven’t removed all pillows and blankets

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

@haylstormriders he’s the best!

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

me, moments before they said “nah, let’s do a c section”

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

me, at both the beginning and end of my pregnancy

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

@KamalaHarris please make “how hard can it be? boys do it” merch tysm

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

@dieworkwear y’all have pockets?

[Veronica 💁🏻‍♀️ @VeronicaRuckh]

what if I told you I wanted a gay son AND a thot daughter

[James O'Malley @Psythor]

If only there was a moderate-coded, extremely good communicator who is both good on Fox News and has a backstory that could mobilise liberals, who could be parachuted in at the convention.