Uselessly Superb, M.Ed.⁷ 🖤

In a Swamp of My Own Making• NSU 13/ECU 20 • she/her • ♉️ • I wasn’t late, I sat in my car for five minutes for a pep talk

[Uselessly Superb, M.Ed.⁷ 🖤 @VidaDelCrystal]

Grandma just told me she wanted to be buried with the pen she stole from her job before she retired because “it’s been a good pen and it’s never run out of ink in all this time.”

[Rafa Sales Ross @rafiews]

Do you guys ever think about how, despite paying for six different streaming platforms, the film you want to watch is never available on any of them?

[keely flaherty @keelyflaherty]

my job is just…worry

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

Mr. Darcy: My job… it’s just lake.

[kanan ☾ @calebsdume]

shoutout to the star wars fan fiction i found that was written entirely in binary from the perspective of r2-d2

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

☠️

[Disappointed Optimist @disappoptimism]

“What do you mean the carpet is killing people?! Carpet can’t -“

[Uselessly Superb, M.Ed.⁷ 🖤 @VidaDelCrystal]

The grandma of pinned tweet fame is doing... very poorly. It's a garbage situation. The only real positive is that everyone has made it back to say goodbye.

[Uselessly Superb, M.Ed.⁷ 🖤 @VidaDelCrystal]

Me, reading a funny tweet about depression- why are depressed people so funny?

Emily- we don't have anything else to live for.

[AVC @annevclark]

Tonight my brother and I got a pepperoni and jalapeño pizza and when I went to pick it up the kid asked me if I was here for the "Roni with the peño" and I will never be the same

[Khalid El Khatib @kmelkhat]

Weather app: Rain expected for the next 6.5 hours.

Me:

[Uselessly Superb, M.Ed.⁷ 🖤 @VidaDelCrystal]

That awkward feeling when your boss will do literally anything to avoid congratulating you on your act scores. Anything.

Including but not limited to changing the topic (to your face) when your bestie compliment-fishes for you.

[Sarah Hollowell 🦝 @sarahhollowell]

How did we, as a people, just accept the word "dongle"

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

nobody:

my brain: I transferred from Los Angeles your school has no gymnastics team this is a last resort

[madeline odent @oldenoughtosay]

husband just asked what I’ll do with my spare time when we finally finish all the renovations to our house and I said I’m gonna build a scale model of redwall abbey in the garden for the field mice and I think he thought I was joking

[Erin Ekins (she/her) @QueerlyAutistic]

One of my favourite nerdy Titanic facts is that the process of filming the 1997 film actually helped solve a big mystery about the sinking: what happened to the grand staircase.