Oh, Victoria

I'm the sweetest perv you'll ever meet.

[Oh, Victoria @VikeeysSecret]

I just unfollowed a girl that tweeted about having never given a blowjob. I don't need that kind of negativity on my timeline.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

I love how when Trump goes five days without openly violating the U.S. Constitution we just all assume he passed away

[Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking]

see how I manage my anxiety. Very not at all. Very caffeinated. Very in bed.

[Chris @iamchriscorooo]

if you ever met me on a night i mixed my liquors, i’m so sorry fr

[Cali @calidaysay]

Never be sad on a weekend. Cry during business hours and get paid for your depression. Don’t let capitalism win.

[raja @ocrayjay]

reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because why do you get a view of my back arching and ass jiggling and all I’m seeing is your toes throwing gang signs

[Yellow @softbfbvnny]

sundress no panties
season
🤝
quickies

[Jenni @hashjenni]

you may be old, but are you this old?

[Novi @iamnovibrown]

Adulting is realizing most people have unhealed issues.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Me getting up to pee after being comfortable in bed

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

imagine being a writer for Sesame Street and suddenly getting hauled into an emergency all-hands meeting on a Monday so you can come up with the most fun and whimsical way for Kermit the Frog to sing the digits of the national suicide hotline

[Nutella @NutttyV]

I love those tight hugs that squeeze all the bad emotions out

[Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin]

I miss Covid traffic…not gonna lie.

[Jenni @hashjenni]

your parents house have everything you need except peace.

[girly&wordly @Brieyonce]

“I’m running late” “okay girl me too” is actually the glue of all friend groups.

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

I know it happens every year, but I would bet my life that it's never gotten this dark this early before in my life.

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

worst part of going on a roadtrip alone is nobody is around to hear you say “cow” when you pass a cow

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

I was with my friend when he got pulled over and he said "just be cool" as if after a lifetime of trying I would suddenly figure it out then