Violet Dragon

Dungeons and Dragons, and Role Player Games, out of context...

[Paul Krugman @paulkrugman]

This site has really been degraded for my purposes. Ever less useful information, feed clogged with ugly stuff, and I hate supplying content to the owner. Will be posting elsewhere https://t.co/59EqvuBv8E

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

@CSMFHT Stop stretching this out

[Amtrak Alerts @AmtrakAlerts]

California Zephyr Train 6 which departed Emeryville (EMY) on 1/30 is currently experiencing

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Presented with absolutely no context:

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to go. I’ve got my dead friend in my hole!”
#dnd #dnd5e

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Cleric: I’m not sure we have enough time to have a nuanced ethics conversation…

Bard: I am personally a fan of Kantian ethics, but if we all just murdered a woman and then “felt bad about it afterwards” we would not be in a good place.

#DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

DM: You come up to a door, with a slot and four holes surrounding it.
Sorcerer: Maybe you should stick your power cock in it.

#dnd #nocontext

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Paladin: " I just feel like I wouldn't have gotten a nat 20 if I hadn't have head-butted it you know?"
DM: You take three points of bludgeoning damage. #DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

DM: Give me a perception check.
Rogue: Ugh, my perception is garbage. But I rolled a 19 so...*pause*... 19!

#DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

DM: Leaves sprout from the target, no pun intended.
Sorcerer: Like, impaling him?
DM: No, just growing from his body. You can see his eyes, but now he's covered in leaves.
Rogue: So not harmful, just botanical.

#dnd

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

DM: You have half cover.
Paladin: Plus my armor and shield.
DM: Cool, 18 to hit.
Paladin: Nope.
Rogue: Dude, having armor ROCKS.

#dnd

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

DM: He throws another bottle at you. 15 to hit.
Bard: That ties my armor class.
DM: That hits. You're on fire.
Bard: AGAIN?!

#DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Rogue: Are there any books or just like tools and stuff?
DM: No books, no writings. It seems you're in like an experimental magic room?
Rogue: It's not experimenting if you don't write it down, it's just fucking around.
#DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

DM: And I need everyone to roll initiative.
Rogue: I need to put on my battle lipstick.
#DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

"The thing about SWAT is that it isn't usually in like, weird trapped Dungeons..." #DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Paladin: I am VERY hurt. Can I 'lay on hands' myself?
Old Man Sorcerer: Only behind the tree.
#DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Are we in a forest or are we fighting donuts? #DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

"There's a lot of threads, but not a lot of garment..." IDIOMS TONIGHT ON FIRE #DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Rogue: Can I check the trunk for a false bottom? Just a quick little grope?
DM: Roll Investigation.
*2*
Rogue: Well that didn't work.
Paladin: The number of times I've used those phrases together.
#DnD

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Wilfred: I have a bunch of cliff bars for rations. I call them that because I found them near a cliff.
#dnd

[Violet Dragon @VioletDragon10]

Every problem looks like a training dummy when all you've got is a sword. FUN WITH IDIOMS!!! #DnD