Virgin Yankees

Yankees are all terrible virgins.

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

New account, we will be posting the Yankees virgin of the day from here on out (spoiler alert, they’re all virgins)

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

Guy has a lot of sex.

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

If you think this team is doing shit, you need to get on tinder and have sexual intercourse with a female. They are a transsexual, virgin team.

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

2024 Yankees 🧵

LF: Verdugo
Fat ginger rapist
CF: Judge
Missing 40 games min
RF: Soto
Missing 40 games min
3B: DJ
Missing 60 games min + washed
SS: Volpe
“Gold glove defense” 🤓
2B: Gleyber
Already peaked

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

Cole
Already peaked
Stroman
6 ERA + hates fans + anti-Semite
Rodon
Missing 4 months, 6 ERA, fat and overpaid
Nestor
Missing 2 months, 5 ERA
Schmidt
8 ERA

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

This man has gone without SEX for his entire life. Signed an 162M bullpen pitcher last off season and his big move to fix the rotation is signing Marcus Strowoman (who also has never had sexual intercourse). Soto has had sex. Which is why he will be leaving after this year.

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

Analytic VIRGINS! Bring in the AAA guy for our starting catcher who doubled last AB! Great call!!!

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

“Franchy Cordero over Higgy here is an analytically smart move”
This teams decisions are run by a bunch of analytic no girl gettin virgins btw.

#yankees

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@GleyberForMVP Hasn’t even attempted to steal a base in a month it feels like and why is he trying to be a power hitter. Hope you’re right tho

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

Virgin of the day: Anthony Volpe

0-4 with yet another failure to come up clutch for “the next Derek Jeter” Judge get this man laid ASAP the virginity is becoming contagious.

#yankees

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@Ghostofyankees1 W.

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

“Franchy Cordero over Higgy here is an analytically smart move”
This teams decisions are run by a bunch of analytic no girl gettin virgins btw.

#yankees

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@GleyberForMVP When a rookie who is said to be the next coming of the greatest player most of us have ever witnessed can’t do anything

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@jessellsworth @TalkinBaseball_ If catching onto tipped pitches is cheating then sure they were cheating 😂 how would you cheat with pitch com anyway??

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@BURGHEAD90 @WhitePepperGDF @TalkinYanks Bruh tf ofc it was the right move. You’re missing the whole point the game would’ve been over 1 2 3 in the 9th had boone not mismanaged

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@BURGHEAD90 @WhitePepperGDF @TalkinYanks Ron was 5 up 5 down but aight man keep defending a mediocre manager at best for the greatest franchise in sports 😂

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@BURGHEAD90 @WhitePepperGDF @TalkinYanks Ya spesh bro. Ron gets the very next batter out and the game is over

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@BURGHEAD90 @WhitePepperGDF @TalkinYanks Boone got Bader and Peraza hurt because he just had to bring in holmes*

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

AARON BOONE. YOU ARE A VIRGIN.

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@Yankees Fire boone if you have any pride left

[Virgin Yankees @VirginYankees]

@CleGuardians